Written by Clara Mitchell
Updated: Jan. 18, 2017
Originally Published: Jan. 17, 2017
Introducing the “Nope-igator,” a local celebrity and resident of Florida!
Occasionally, a trending topic emerges that is so alarming that you instinctively know it’s best to steer clear. These stories often include the words “Florida,” “massive,” and a type of reptile. That’s precisely why when a video showcasing an enormous alligator from Florida surfaced on social media, curiosity got the better of us.
The video, filmed by Samantha Clark at the Circle B Bar Reserve in Lakeland, Florida, quickly garnered over 10 million views after she shared it on Facebook. While observing the alligator, affectionately nicknamed “Humpback” due to its distinctive shape and a romantic tale involving a gypsy, Samantha and a handful of other visitors stood just inches away as the creature leisurely crossed their path.
Now, imagine if I were the one behind the camera. The End.
This behemoth is estimated to stretch about 12 feet and weigh close to 1,000 pounds. Many online have likened it to a dinosaur, making it sound even more terrifying. But honestly, “alligator” alone is enough to send chills down anyone’s spine. The alligator’s sluggish stroll drew much commentary, with one observer remarking, “He seems accustomed to visitors.” Indeed, if “accustomed” means “sated,” there’s no need to rush when you’re the king of this swamp.
Humpback appears completely indifferent to any potential threats. For those of us residing far from the Sunshine State, it’s baffling that individuals are allowed to be in proximity to a place where massive, toothy alligators roam free. A glance at the Circle B’s website reveals just how casually Floridians approach the looming presence of these formidable creatures. Here are some of the “recreational activities” available at this High Alert Zone:
- Bicycling (Children under 16 are advised to don helmets and must be able to speed away at 35 mph if needed.)
- Birdwatching (Discover the dynamics of the food chain.)
- Fishing (I wouldn’t advise it.)
- Hiking (Check out the “Alligator Alley Trail,” which is unpaved for better traction, and don’t worry about packing snacks—the trail is littered with them.)
- Picnicking (Because who doesn’t enjoy the irony of food eating food?)
Thank you, Florida, for reminding us that your state was never intended for human habitation. Please, fellow Floridians, take a moment to reflect on this video. This normalization of car-sized alligators is unacceptable. Not now, not ever.
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Summary: The article discusses the alarming presence of a giant alligator in Florida, dubbed “Humpback,” and highlights the casual attitude of locals toward such dangers. It also provides links to resources for at-home insemination kits, dietary supplements for fertility, and expert guidance on pregnancy.