By: Sarah Thompson
Date: January 16, 2023
Imagine a scenario where someone glances at their dog’s toy collection and thinks, “That looks like it could spice things up in the bedroom!” Wait, what?! This bizarre thought crossed my mind after stumbling upon a rumor that a dog toy named Būmi supposedly won an award as a sex toy. Despite my extensive (and unsettling) internet searches, I couldn’t confirm this claim. Full disclosure: I was too terrified to delve deeper into the archives of adult toy awards. But just look at the design of this tug toy and ask yourself, “Where would I even use that?”
The truth is, using dog toys as sexual aids isn’t as uncommon as one might think. Many of these toys are non-toxic, flexible, and—let’s be honest—some resemble oversized, well, you know. I fear my targeted ads will never recover from this search history, and now my kids think we’re getting a pet. Trust me: never combine dog toys and sex toys in a search. It’s a rabbit hole best left unexplored.
That said, if you’ve seen some of the more imaginative adult toys on the market, you might find it difficult to distinguish between the two. A video featuring blindfolded moms trying to identify if an object is a dog toy or a sex toy revealed just how challenging it can be.
Insights on This Peculiar Intersection of Toys
- People have some unique interests. A significant portion of what I found looked more like instruments of torture than objects of pleasure. No judgment here—everyone is free to explore their passions, while I’ll just sip my unexciting latte.
- There’s a vast industry centered around items meant for insertion that I was previously unaware of. It seems like many households engage in substantial warm-up routines.
- A rather disturbing item called a “vajankle” exists, and I feel compelled to set my computer ablaze. Seriously, don’t look it up.
- My children should never be allowed to use the internet again unless I can outsmart them with robust filters. What will happen when they become teenagers? I think I’ll just burn my computer.
- If people are using dog toys as sex toys, it raises questions about pet ownership and potential confusion for all parties involved.
- Just… why?!
- My perception of people may never be the same after this experience. I might find myself laughing uncontrollably in the pet aisle at the store.
- I can’t read dog toy descriptions the same way anymore. Phrases like “designed for dogs with intense play drives!” and “suitable for both indoor and outdoor use” now carry a whole new weight.
- I can see why this crossover happens—dog toys are often more budget-friendly than their adult counterparts and likely crafted from similar materials. What is happening to my logic?
- If I can’t look at another dog toy without these thoughts, I guarantee you can’t either. You’re welcome.
In conclusion, creativity knows no bounds, the internet can be a wild place, and I’ve clearly been living under a rock for the last decade. I genuinely feel for the adult shops that might struggle now that Petco offers a better deal.
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