We need to have a serious conversation. I understand that you’re navigating some critical developmental stages, but there are certain behaviors that we must address.
For instance, just last night, you managed to remove your diaper with such vigor that a little surprise projectile landed right on me. I must say, I’m still trying to comprehend how that even happened. Yes, I know you want to do things “your own way,” but let’s agree that flinging your poop is not a part of that plan.
Tantrums and Meltdowns
Speaking of chaos, let’s address those tantrums. I suspect you may be experiencing what I like to call PMS—Preschool Meltdown Syndrome. It’s a real thing, I assure you. Life as a toddler can be filled with disappointments, but collapsing on the floor like a bowl of jelly every time things don’t go your way is a bit excessive.
I regret that I didn’t allow you to play in the oven. I totally understand how unfair that seems, but trust me, when you’re older, we can revisit that idea. And while I would love to take a break from cooking, I can’t let you survive solely on fruit snacks and cheese. If that were the case, I shudder to think about the aftermath.
Sleep Habits
Now let’s talk about your sleep habits. They could use some serious improvement. There’s really no need to swap stuffed animals at 3 a.m. They won’t mind who you cuddle with—they’re stuffed! When you wake up and refuse to settle back down, my feelings lean towards frustration.
Pants and Freedom
And your pants—let’s not forget those. I’m not a fan either, but they’re non-negotiable when we go out. If we’re at home, feel free to embrace your freedom, my little gazelle. I’ll happily join your no-pants celebration.
Screen Time
Lastly, regarding screen time, while I’m usually flexible, your current obsession with watching back-to-back episodes of that puppy show is pushing me to my limits. Seventeen episodes in a row? Really? It’s time to find some balance here.
So, let’s work together to make some adjustments. Perhaps we can negotiate over a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos? You can choose your favorite color, but I have a feeling you’ll end up playing with something completely different. Whatever it is, we need to find a solution.
I love you dearly, but I cannot keep peeling you off floors or dragging you out of restaurants because your juice was too juicy. I need your cooperation on this.
Eagerly awaiting your thoughts,
Mommy
In Summary
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