As a parent, it’s easy to find yourself comparing your family situation to others and wishing you could provide more for your kids. Our family has always had enough, but we live modestly compared to some of our neighbors. We occupy a 1,000-square-foot duplex, which includes a combined living and dining room, a family room, and two small bedrooms. It’s quite suitable for our family of four, but it does mean that our two sons share a room.
When we first moved in, our youngest was still an infant, co-sleeping with us, so having the older son in the second bedroom wasn’t an issue. I always anticipated that the boys would eventually share a room, but I thought we might convert the family room into a third bedroom or something similar. I delayed the transition for a few years—our little one seemed to love co-sleeping. Honestly, I felt anxiety over the idea of them sharing a space.
I wrestled with guilt, wishing they could each have their own rooms like many of their peers. I wondered if the older boy would need his own space once he hit puberty. Would sharing a room lead to constant bickering? Would they grow to resent each other? Would they feel embarrassed comparing themselves to friends with larger homes?
As I voiced these concerns, I realized they were merely fears without a solid basis. They were just that—fears. It became clear to me that I needed to stop stressing and just take the leap.
So, a few months ago, I broke the news to my older son that his little brother would be moving in with him. There were some grumbles, but much fewer than I anticipated. I framed it as the creation of a “Brother’s Retreat”—a cool space just for them. He had some ideas: bean bag chairs, a lava lamp, and a TV for gaming. We rearranged the room, and I was thrilled to see their excitement as it came together.
Of course, it hasn’t been all smooth sailing. Sharing a room means things can get cluttered quickly, and there’s little room for extra toys. So, we tackled the closets, sorted through toy bins, and cleared the floors to ensure both boys had ample space for their belongings without feeling cramped.
Now that they’ve been sharing for a few months, I can honestly say I don’t understand why I hesitated in the first place. It’s been fantastic—like, the best decision ever.
Sure, it’s not without its challenges. There has been some whining and occasional squabbling about sharing space (though not more than before), but the advantages far outweigh the minor headaches. For anyone contemplating merging bedrooms—whether by necessity or simply for the experience—I can wholeheartedly recommend it.
Here are the reasons why:
Strengthening Bonds
Brotherly bonding can sometimes resemble a wrestling match, but it’s bonding nonetheless. Living in close quarters ensures they have to build a relationship, no matter how it unfolds.
Creating Memories
My fondest childhood memories aren’t from picture-perfect moments, but rather from the simple time spent together as a family. Now that my boys share a room, they have countless opportunities to create these everyday memories that they’ll cherish forever.
Learning Conflict Resolution
Initially, I hesitated to have them share a room, fearing the conflicts that might arise. However, I now see that navigating these challenges is a critical life lesson for them. Yes, someone might grab a toy or annoy the other, and sometimes they’ll just need a moment alone. Learning to set boundaries and voice their needs is vital. They may not be experts yet, but they’re getting valuable practice.
Decluttering Skills
Sharing a small space compels my kids to be selective about what they keep. I help by clearing out toys when they’re not around, but they are also learning to part with items they no longer need. Plus, their limited space means they have to put their socks in the laundry and tidy up those pesky Legos.
Embracing Humility
My children are beginning to understand that while they may not have as much space as some peers, they are fortunate compared to other kids who have much less. For instance, this Christmas, I explained to my youngest that not all children receive gifts. He was shocked by this realization and willingly decluttered his toys to donate to those in need.
If you’re uncertain about having your kids share a room, I encourage you to go for it. The benefits far surpass the potential drawbacks, and even the challenging moments teach your children valuable lessons about compromise, resilience, and the beauty of close relationships.
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Summary
Having my kids share a room has proven to be a rewarding decision. It fosters bonding, creates lasting memories, teaches conflict resolution, encourages decluttering, and imparts the value of humility. With more opportunities for interaction and learning, my children are growing in ways I hadn’t anticipated.