If you could see my expression right now, you’d probably notice my left eye twitching like it’s on a mission. You might also catch a glimpse of a gray hair peeking from my right eyebrow—evidence, I believe, of my current struggle with my child’s latest phase: the know-it-all stage. It’s testing my patience like never before.
As children develop, they go through various growth stages that are meant to prepare them for adulthood. The first year is all about mastering walking, the second is focused on talking, and the third year is dedicated to potty training. However, in my household, the seventh year has ushered in the notorious know-it-all phase, where my child feels completely justified in correcting everyone around him, convinced that he is infallibly right. It’s enough to make any parent want to pull their hair out.
How Did We Find Ourselves Here?
Should I take the blame? My husband and I have always encouraged our children, but we’ve never done so in a way that would turn them into little divas. We emphasize basic manners and kindness, and when those values falter, we implement appropriate consequences. So why is my child suddenly acting like a miniature authority figure?
The know-it-all phase, as it turns out, is indeed just a phase. When kids enter the early school years, they are bombarded with new knowledge, which excites their curiosity and eagerness to share what they’ve learned. For example, when my 7-year-old enthusiastically tells me that a peregrine falcon can dive at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour, it’s understandable that he wants to share such impressive facts with everyone. In his mind, these nuggets of knowledge garner attention, and he thrives on that spotlight.
When Sharing Turns into Correcting
However, when his “Did you know?” turns into “You’re wrong, it’s this,” we encounter a problem. This behavior often stems from insecurity. According to an article in Parents magazine, child psychologist Laura Mason explains that as children around this age begin to grasp more complex concepts, they take pride in their knowledge. They naturally want to showcase their expertise and receive validation. But even with encouragement, the desire to be perceived as the best can lead to a know-it-all attitude.
In our home, this phase has manifested as my son incessantly correcting his younger brother on every little detail. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to intervene in arguments that escalate from “Yes, it is!” to “No, it isn’t!” Initially, we thought it was typical sibling rivalry. However, we soon recognized that the disputes were often sparked by my older child’s insistence that his brother is wrong, leading to frustration on both ends—and ultimately, on mine as well.
Strategies to Cope
To address this, we’ve tried a variety of tactics: praising him for his intelligence without encouraging him to belittle others, discussing social etiquette, imposing time-outs, and even threatening to confiscate his tablet (the ultimate punishment!). Yet, nothing seemed to curb his persistent know-it-all behavior, and his younger brother often ended up feeling devalued.
Ultimately, we realized two key insights. First, aspiring to be an expert is a typical developmental milestone at this age. Second, despite our best efforts to mediate and guide, sibling rivalry is a natural part of growing up. Our kids will learn to navigate their conflicts, and our role is to ensure that they do so respectfully, even if one of them always thinks he knows better.
I know the day will come when my little know-it-all is put in his place by a peer or relative, and that’s a lesson we can’t teach. Until then, we’ll manage this phase as best as we can, all while knowing that it’s just another stage in the parenting journey.
Additional Resources
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Summary
In this article, I share my experiences with my child’s know-it-all phase, exploring the reasons behind this behavior and how it impacts family dynamics. Despite the challenges, I recognize this stage as a natural part of development, with hopes that my children will learn to resolve their differences respectfully.