When it comes to the “cry-it-out” (CIO) method, opinions are often heated. It seems like you can’t browse the internet without encountering strong feelings about letting your little ones cry themselves to sleep. Today, I’m sharing my personal journey with CIO and how it ultimately benefited my family. You can take my experience or leave it, but I hope that being open about my parenting choices might offer some encouragement to others navigating this challenging path.
As a new mom a decade ago, I didn’t have the overwhelming amount of information that new parents have today. I can empathize with those of you who feel swamped by options and judgments regarding parenting choices—co-sleeping, breastfeeding, vaccinations, CIO, working versus staying at home, and more. It’s a lot to handle, and honestly, it can wear you down.
No matter what you choose, someone will likely criticize your decisions. If you were to look up CIO today, the advice could send you spiraling into anxiety. The fear of mistakenly harming your child can be paralyzing. Yet, I want to highlight the positive outcomes of CIO from my experience: my children, now 5 and 10, have become excellent sleepers. I wish I had found stories like mine during those long, sleepless nights when I listened to my babies cry and struggled to remain strong for both of us.
The thought that kept me going was that I was providing them with a vital skill—the ability to fall asleep independently. It was a gift that also allowed me some much-needed rest. Did it hurt? Absolutely. Did I shed tears? Without a doubt. But did it work? Yes, indeed. Would I do it again? Without hesitation, especially knowing it would lead to a lifetime of healthy sleep habits for our family.
Understanding the Cry-It-Out Method
In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, “cry-it-out” refers to a method some parents use when they desperately need their babies to sleep through the night. When my first child was born, I was working a demanding job and desperately needed rest. My son seemed to think that our nightly parties began at 3 a.m., making my 6 a.m. alarm feel torturous. After conducting research, I concluded that CIO was the best route to take.
The method involves letting your baby cry for a designated period while checking on them occasionally to reassure them that you’re nearby, but it’s time to sleep. The goal is for them to learn to self-soothe and eventually fall asleep independently—in their crib, without needing a bottle or breast.
We implemented the CIO method around 8 months for my first child and even a bit earlier for my second. After ensuring they were fed, dry, and comfortable, we laid them down sleepy but awake. The first nights were gut-wrenchingly difficult. I felt like a monster while my husband remained steadfast. My instinct was to rush to my children, and the seconds felt like hours as I counted down to the moment I could reassure them. Those nights dragged on.
However, by the third or fourth night, something remarkable happened—they slept! They woke up eight hours later, smiling and gurgling, as if we had all been given a fresh start. While there were occasional setbacks, they soon established a routine of going to bed when we wanted and sleeping soundly until morning.
Positive Outcomes of CIO
Despite claims from some parenting philosophies that CIO is cruel, my kids are thriving—compassionate, intelligent, and well-adjusted. In fact, research suggests that this method doesn’t harm infants. If you find yourself in the thick of a CIO session, remember this: “I am not harming my child; I am equipping them with a life skill.” My kids are doing great, and they haven’t shown any signs of developing scales or speaking in tongues, which is a relief!
For us, CIO was transformative. It’s important to clarify that this method is not about letting a hungry newborn cry for hours—that’s not the intention. I want to offer support to other parents who might feel overwhelmed and desperately need a few quiet hours of sleep each night. You are not a bad mom, and you aren’t damaging your child. Everything will be okay.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, the CIO approach worked wonders for my family. While it may not be the right choice for everyone, I found it to be an effective solution that ultimately led to happier and healthier sleep for my children—and for me.