My son has spent nearly 3,642 nights snuggled up with his beloved blankie and has probably dedicated about 6,783 hours to thumb-sucking. You know that saying that suggests your child won’t achieve milestones like going to college or getting married while still attached to their thumb or blankie? Well, my child might just defy that notion.
Like many parents, I found myself concerned about my son’s thumb-sucking as he approached the age of 10, clearly on the older end of the spectrum for this behavior. I worried about potential teasing from peers, the impact on his dental health, and whether I was failing as a parent by not being more proactive in curbing this habit. Yet, I didn’t intervene; he was a peaceful sleeper with his thumb and blankie, so why disrupt that tranquility?
Not everyone shared my more relaxed view. A couple of years ago, I took him to an orthodontist after he lost a few teeth early. I mentioned his thumb-sucking, and the orthodontist, rather than offering reassurance, resorted to shaming my son. He asked, “What would your friends say if they found out you suck your thumb?” I was furious, but my son’s response was perfect. “They wouldn’t say anything… because they’re my friends,” he replied. A-freaking-men!
We promptly switched to a new orthodontist who not only avoided shaming my son but also reassured me that he would stop when he was ready. There was no need for alarm regarding this habit.
Parents often obsess over prolonged thumb-sucking and the use of comfort items like pacifiers or blankies, but experts urge us to relax. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that thumb-sucking is a natural way for children to self-soothe. As children mature, they typically find alternative coping mechanisms and gradually abandon these habits. The AAP notes that while most children stop thumb-sucking before school, pressuring them can backfire, causing more harm than good. Rest assured that your child will eventually outgrow these behaviors.
For nearly a decade, my son found comfort in his blankie while sucking his thumb, and we didn’t stop him, even amidst our worries. Then, one day, he just stopped. He hasn’t sucked his thumb in months, and his blankie is now tucked away at the bottom of my nightstand. I’m a little sad about it, honestly.
Was my son a bit old for thumb-sucking? Likely. Could we have taken away his blankie or pressured him to stop? Absolutely. But why? What would that accomplish, and at what cost? Would we have risked his comfort for the sake of conformity? More importantly, wouldn’t we be teaching him that external judgments matter more than his feelings?
Whether one views thumb-sucking or other childhood soothing behaviors as problematic, it’s evident that shame is counterproductive. Genuine friends accept each other’s quirks, regardless of whether someone sucks their thumb, has nighttime fears, or needs a parent to help them sleep. Kids instinctively understand this; it’s often the adults who lose sight of it.
In the end, my son probably won’t head off to college still sucking his thumb or take his blankie to his wedding—unless it’s in a keepsake box. As experts suggest, kids evolve at their own pace. They are individuals, not machines programmed to meet arbitrary milestones. Eventually, they grow up, whether we’re ready for it or not.
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Summary
This article discusses the stigma surrounding older children who suck their thumbs and rely on comfort items like blankies. The author shares personal experiences with her son, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to comfort themselves without shame. Experts suggest that thumb-sucking is a normal behavior that children will usually outgrow on their own, and that parental pressure may do more harm than good. Ultimately, children develop at their own pace, and it’s crucial to prioritize their emotional well-being over societal expectations.