I’m not the kind of woman who can claim that my affection for my body’s journey outweighs my discontent when I glance in the mirror at my sagging breasts, stretched abdomen, and emerging jowls. Society insists that “good moms” regard their physical changes as badges of honor from the marathon of motherhood. While that perspective works for some, it doesn’t resonate with me. I want cosmetic surgery, and I want it now.
However, my desires extend beyond just lifted breasts; I’m seeking a complete body transformation—a so-called “mommy makeover” that addresses the effects of postpartum life. I’m a fiercely opinionated, strong feminist, and before motherhood, I reveled in my sexuality, something my partner and I cherished.
These days, my confidence is waning, and I don’t feel particularly attractive. It’s not about insecurity; I simply want my breasts to return to their rightful position. Yet expressing this desire seems to label me as a “bad feminist,” as Madonna recently suggested.
The notion that women must reject makeup, slim figures, or sexy lingerie to feel empowered is, in my opinion, misguided. I recognize the damaging impact of objectifying women, but I’m not doing that to myself. When I see celebrities like Ava with her phenomenal abs or Mia flaunting her enviable curves, it’s frustrating to hear them criticized for setting unrealistic beauty standards. Why not celebrate the diverse ways femininity can be alluring? Some find C-section scars beautiful; others see tattoos as an expression of art. For me, it’s about a fit physique. This isn’t about seeking validation from the male gaze; it’s about aspiring to my own definition of sexiness.
Whether it’s losing the baby weight to get in shape like fitness icons or adopting a vibrant, plant-based diet for energy, I embrace these choices. Personally, I desire a toned figure and perky breasts, which may involve rigorous exercise, healthy eating, and possibly surgery at some point.
Modern feminism champions the autonomy to make our own choices about our bodies, yet many still cling to outdated beliefs that a woman can’t be a feminist if she desires things considered oppressive, such as being a homemaker or seeking surgical enhancements. I firmly disagree. If a woman chooses to invest in her body, whether it’s for aesthetic reasons or otherwise, she embodies the spirit of feminism just as much as historical figures like Rosie the Riveter. It’s about the freedom to choose.
The decisions I make daily demonstrate to my children what feminism can manifest as. I opted to stay home with my babies, then returned to work to pursue my journalism passion, showing them that it’s never too late to chase dreams. My tattoo at 37 was a declaration of ownership over my body and an embrace of self-expression. Should I decide to undergo a tummy tuck, it won’t indicate insecurity; it will exemplify my autonomy and the right to shape my own body.
Women have fought tirelessly to be recognized as individuals with the ability to make choices on our own terms. You might view my aspirations as superficial or wasteful, but that’s perfectly fine because I know my body will shine, and I’ll continue to live life on my own terms.
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In summary, being a feminist mother doesn’t mean sacrificing personal desires for societal approval; it means having the freedom to choose what feels right for oneself.