When we tell our children, “You can be anything you want to be,” we’re instilling hope and ambition in them. But there’s another essential lesson we should impart: “Life doesn’t always go as planned.”
That’s the reality I faced. Becoming a mother was never in my life’s blueprint. I didn’t envision myself nurturing kids as a child, nor did I anticipate it after tying the knot. The responsibility of raising another human being simply didn’t excite me.
Then, life threw me a curveball. I found myself unexpectedly pregnant while on birth control. Surprise! My world flipped upside down. Just when my husband and I were figuring out a new contraceptive method after the pill’s failure, I learned I was pregnant again. My kids are just 355 days apart.
But here’s the twist: once I held my little ones in my arms and began to witness their growth into unique individuals, a realization dawned on me. I was, in fact, a pretty amazing mom. This realization had little to do with inherent maternal instincts; it stemmed from my daily commitment to be the best parent I could be. Some days shine brighter than others, and sure, I stumble often, yet that doesn’t define my worth as a mom. If you’re putting in the effort, showering your kids with love, and striving to improve, you’re a good mom too.
The world is filled with poor parenting examples, and we hear about them frequently. Being a good mom is a choice we make. I could easily have opted for mediocrity, given my unexpected journey into motherhood. I could have thought, “Life dealt me a bad hand, so why bother?”
Many face challenges like failed contraceptives, traumatic childhoods, or unhealthy relationships, giving them ample reason to reject motherhood. Yet, we choose to forge ahead. We can seek guidance and utilize resources like therapy, parenting workshops, and supportive friends to navigate this journey. Just because life throws us challenges doesn’t mean we must succumb to failure as parents.
I embraced the role I never sought. I taught my kids to walk and talk, comfort them during sickness, and catch them when they stumble. Each day, I offer countless hugs and kisses, while trying my best to maintain my composure, even on the toughest days. I’m dedicated to teaching them to read and write, providing them with shelter and healthy meals—though sometimes, those meals end up on the floor.
I engage with my children, listen to their tales, and cheer them on during their performances. I instill values of kindness and respect in them. Despite never intending to take on this job, I’ve become a loving and committed mom. I realized that I could thrive in this role, and I’ve come to cherish it deeply.
Yes, life can be unpredictable, but we hold the power to respond to those surprises. We can choose to complain and perform poorly, or we can, albeit reluctantly, flourish in our circumstances. We have the ability to make the most of our situations with joy and determination.
I want my children to believe they can achieve anything they desire. I want them to understand that while life can be unpredictable, it’s during those challenging moments that we discover our resilience. It’s within those “life happens” instances that we learn what kind of mothers we can truly become.
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In summary, embracing motherhood can happen unexpectedly, and through effort and love, one can become a remarkable parent, regardless of initial desires.