December 25, 2016
Are your kids causing chaos this holiday season? Do you feel the judgmental glares from relatives while you’re just trying to enjoy a quiet moment (and maybe a glass of wine)? Worry not! Here are ten clever excuses for your little ones’ questionable holiday antics.
- My sincere apologies for Danny’s fascination with your dog’s tail. He’s been experiencing a significant growth spurt lately, and it’s making him extra peckish.
- I can’t explain why Lily decided to show her private parts to Grandma Ethel. She’s recently learned about the differences between boys and girls, and this might just be her way of expressing newfound knowledge.
- I’m so embarrassed that you saw Greg licking all the hors d’oeuvres before putting them back on the platter. We’ve been teaching him about decision-making, but it seems he took it a bit too literally.
- I’m sorry that Ava tried to share her boogers with your son. We’ve been emphasizing the importance of sharing, and she’s just taking it to new extremes.
- I’m sure Oliver didn’t intend to pee on the cake. His dad has been practicing public restroom skills with him, and let’s just say he’s still perfecting his aim.
- I have no clue why Mia has been running around and playfully nipping at people’s behinds. I suspect the babysitter has been letting her watch too much Animal Planet. Someone might be getting a stern warning!
- We don’t condone bad language at home. I believe Ethan picked up “Where the heck are my keys?!” from some rather unruly kids at daycare. It’s a rough crowd over there!
- Honestly, I’m just as shocked as you that Zoe used lipstick to create her own masterpiece on the dining room walls. Her teacher believes we’re nurturing a little Picasso, which has clearly backfired.
- I can’t believe that Liam gifted your daughter a fart in a box. It’s not like we’ve ever joked about that sort of thing at home—never!
- I have no idea why my children are behaving like a wild bunch of banshees. It must be all that candy my mother-in-law keeps sneaking to them. Sugar and in-laws? A recipe for disaster.
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In summary, the holiday season can bring out the wild side in kids, but with these ready-made excuses, you can navigate family gatherings with a little more grace. Embrace the chaos, and remember—sugar is not the only culprit!