Enough is Enough: The End of Goody Bags

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When it comes to birthday party treat bags, my feelings are complicated, to say the least. I genuinely don’t want my children to walk away from a friend’s celebration expecting a reward. Their presence should be about honoring their friend, not receiving a token.

As a mom who is not crafty and struggles with DIY projects, the thought of goody bags often keeps me awake at night. I admire those creative moms who enjoy putting together elaborate treat bags, but for those of us who don’t have that knack, these bags can cause unnecessary stress. The reality is, the contents of these bags often amount to little more than junk—cheap toys and candy that will be forgotten before we even leave the parking lot.

So, it’s no surprise that I’m not fond of goody bags. However, I do want to make my kids happy and throw parties that they and their friends enjoy. If that includes goody bags, I’ll go with the flow—especially when someone else takes care of it, as was the case for my daughter’s recent birthday party.

We rented a play space that handled everything, including the goody bags. I simply provided the theme and the number of guests, and they took care of the rest. The guest list included my daughter’s friends, along with my son and his two friends. When I informed the manager about the boys, she assured me she would prepare separate goody bags for them.

On the day of the party, one of the moms asked if her daughter could attend since she couldn’t find a babysitter. I agreed but cautioned her that there might not be a treat bag for her daughter since I had confirmed the headcount a week prior. She assured me her daughter would be fine without one.

However, as the party unfolded, a few kids fell ill and couldn’t make it, meaning there was an extra bag available for my friend’s daughter. Despite her mom’s reassurance, when I handed her a goody bag, she started crying because it wasn’t the same as what the boys received. I explained that those bags had been prepared in advance and that I would have included her if I’d known she would be there. Her tears escalated into a full-blown tantrum until her younger sister chimed in, revealing she hadn’t taken a bag because she didn’t like what was inside.

At that moment, I thought, “Enough with goody bags.” These little bags of disappointment and entitlement have become more trouble than they’re worth. The real issue isn’t about who prepares them, but the expectations and lack of gratitude that come when kids receive prizes for simply attending a party meant to celebrate someone else. I’ve had it with the plastic trinkets and themed stickers that will inevitably be lost before we even get home.

From now on, goody bags are off my list. I know some kids might leave my child’s birthday party feeling disappointed, but that’s okay. They’ll just have something new to fuss about, and I’m ready for it. And to the little girl who threw a fit over her goody bag, the appropriate response should have been a simple “Thank you!” after receiving a gift just for being there.

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In summary, I’ve decided to stop the practice of giving out goody bags at birthday parties. The stress of preparing them and the entitlement they foster just isn’t worth it. Kids should learn to appreciate the celebration itself rather than expect a reward for attending.