Throughout the day, I find myself saying things like, “What’s happening?” When, in reality, I’m thinking, “Why on earth are you all bickering again over a silly toy when you have a mountain of them?”
“Really?” I ask, while my mind screams, “Why did I even get out of bed today?”
“Please don’t do that again!” is what I say when I’m really thinking, “Child, you are on the verge of driving me absolutely insane if you do that one more time.”
“It’s alright. Mistakes happen,” I tell you, while internally panicking, “This is it. This is the moment that will break me. I’ll be found curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth, and my partner will end up with someone younger and more fun. Ugh!”
The journey of parenthood is one that’s impossible to fully grasp until you’re in the thick of it. The emotional highs and lows are unlike anything you’ve ever experienced—ranging from joy and love to frustration and doubt, sometimes all within the span of a few minutes. It can be utterly exhausting yet, at the same time, beautifully rewarding.
But there are moments when the magic of parenthood is overshadowed by its less glamorous sides. That’s when I wish I could reveal these raw truths to my kids:
- Honestly, I don’t want to go to your dance class—or any of your after-school activities, for that matter! I’d much rather not stress about where your uniform is or if it’s clean. The responsibility of bringing snacks? No thanks! Plus, sitting in those uncomfortable chairs for hours is no picnic.
- When you read aloud to me, I struggle to hold back the urge to finish your sentences. I’m thrilled you’re learning, but sometimes I just want to shout, “How many times do you need to sound out ‘brown’ before you recognize it?” Instead, I nod and smile, hiding my impatience.
- Here’s a secret: Some nights, I wish you could just drift off to sleep without my help. The bedtime routine can feel like a marathon, and I often find myself dreaming of relaxing on the couch with some chocolate instead.
- There are times when I don’t want to kiss your boo-boos. Sometimes I know you’re being overly dramatic, and I have to fight the urge to just tell you to get over it. You’re growing up so fast; I wish I could hold you tighter while I still can.
- Honestly, I dread bath time! I don’t want to be the one dealing with water splashes or the cries when soap gets in your eyes. And could you please notice when you need to shower?
- I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hate homework more than you do. I know you won’t remember most of it later, and I struggle to keep my cool while you take ages to write a simple answer.
- Going anywhere with water is a hassle. I’d rather relax and soak in the sun than play lifeguard. And why do you always need to pee right after getting in the water?
- Let’s be real—sometimes I can’t stand family dinner time. When you complain about my cooking, it takes everything in me not to fling my fork in frustration. How can you scarf down snacks but take forever to finish a meal?
- Your interests can be painfully boring, but I try to be engaged. While I pretend to care about the latest Disney movie or your Lego creations, I’m actually wishing for a distraction.
- I don’t always know everything will be okay. I worry too, and sometimes I feel like I’m putting on a brave face for you. The guilt of whether you’re affected by my worries is overwhelming.
- I wish I could control every part of your life. Sending you out into the world, knowing you will face challenges, terrifies me. I want to protect you from everything, but I know I have to let you learn from your mistakes.
- Above all, I wish you could fully grasp how much I love you. The love a parent has for a child is profound. I hope one day, when you have kids of your own, you’ll understand the depths of this love and sacrifice.
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Summary
Parenthood is a complex emotional journey filled with joy, frustration, and challenges. While I strive to support my children, there are many times I wish I could voice the truths lurking beneath my kind facade. From dreading dance classes to feeling overwhelmed by homework, these candid reflections reveal the struggles of parenting and the deep love that underpins it all.