It’s nearly 10 p.m., and I can feel my eyelids getting heavy as I try to correct a mistake in my opening paragraph. Suddenly, my daughter’s voice calls from her room, “Mom! I’m scared! Can you come snuggle with me?” I quickly ask my partner to step in for me. With a deadline looming in the morning, I need to finish my work before I lose my focus.
“But I want Mommy!” she whines.
“She’s busy right now, sweetheart,” my partner gently tells her.
A pang of guilt hits me. I can’t help but imagine a future where my daughter is sitting in a therapist’s office, recounting how “Mom was always busy working,” curled up in a ball on the couch. I know it sounds dramatic, but the guilt that accompanies working from home is something I never anticipated.
From a young age, I envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom. I thought I would work for a bit, get married, have kids, and dedicate myself fully to motherhood. I did work for a while, and after getting married, when our first child arrived, we found it financially necessary for me to continue working. So, I launched a small editing business from home, which allowed me to earn a bit while maintaining my professional skills. Eventually, I sought more regular work and began online tutoring, tailoring my hours to fit my partner’s schedule, which worked seamlessly at first.
Fast-forward 15 years, and I’ve held at least seven different work-from-home positions, often juggling multiple roles at once. Overall, it has been a rewarding experience. I enjoy the flexibility of setting my own schedule, being present with my kids during the day, staying engaged professionally, and contributing to our household income. I feel incredibly lucky to have found work that I can manage from home.
However, it’s not all perfect. Working from home means that my professional tasks are literally taking place in my living space, leading to a blurred line between my work and personal life. I appreciate the flexibility, but it can also be my downfall. If I don’t strictly manage my time—which is a struggle for me—it becomes too easy to mix work and home responsibilities. I often find myself working in short bursts throughout the day and evening, which can feel overwhelming.
I also worry about what my kids are experiencing. I’m physically present at home, yet I’m often not fully engaged with them. They see me working, but my time on the computer doesn’t always translate to “work” in their eyes. They simply know that Mom isn’t available to give them her full attention.
And bless them, they’re not much help in this regard. When I wake up early to get a head start before they rise, they inevitably wake up early too. If I try to work after they go to bed, they suddenly decide they need to talk about their day or have a deep conversation right before bedtime.
I can retreat to my office, but let’s face it—if Mom is home, she’s still very much around. I often escape to coffee shops to work, which I genuinely enjoy, but I can’t do that every day.
Then there’s the household chaos. Keeping little ones entertained without resorting to too much screen time typically results in messes. Busy kids mean happy kids, which gives me a chance to focus on work, but it also leads to more cleanup and teaching responsibilities for me. I also contend with the endless laundry piles, dust that needs addressing, and dirty dishes that seem to multiply. While all families deal with these everyday chores, the constant presence of them can be distracting for a work-at-home mom. The housework often gets pushed aside, leading to situations where it becomes overwhelming and chaotic.
Despite these challenges, there are undeniable perks. I never miss important events in my kids’ lives, and I enjoy plenty of quality time with them. I’ve had to learn to compartmentalize my time and establish clear boundaries, which has been a valuable lesson. I’m gradually getting better at working in front of my kids without feeling guilty, though I still struggle with that at times. My partner is extremely supportive, which helps balance the scales between work and family life, so overall, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
I wouldn’t trade my work-from-home lifestyle for anything, and I’m incredibly thankful for the freedom it offers. However, I would advise others to avoid romanticizing this experience too much. As a work-at-home mom, you enjoy the best and the most challenging aspects of both worlds.
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Summary:
Being a work-from-home mom comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. While the flexibility allows for a better work-life balance, it also blurs the lines between personal and professional life. The guilt of not being fully present for children and the constant household chores can be overwhelming. Despite these hurdles, the benefits, such as never missing important moments with kids and maintaining a professional career, often outweigh the difficulties.