I’ll be honest—I’m fully aware that admitting this could label me as a negligent parent, a heartless individual, or even a criminal. People might accuse me of being unworthy of my children and suggest that I’m inviting danger upon them. I can already hear the threats of someone calling child protective services, and others expressing disbelief that no one has done so yet. Many will assume I’m simply being lazy or will suggest that I should never have had kids in the first place.
Yet, I occasionally leave my kids unattended in the car. To clarify: I have three sons, aged 6, 5, and 3. Only the older two can unbuckle themselves. They stay in a locked minivan, with the ignition off and keys out of reach, on days when it’s cooler than 70 degrees—and never for longer than three minutes. Typically, this happens when I need to pay for gas in cash, pick up a prescription, or drop something off quickly, like my husband’s lunch at his school.
I never take them shopping while they’re in the car, and I always ensure the doors are locked and the keys are securely in my hand. Still, every time I do this, I feel the fear of judgment from others. I dread the criticism. However, I refuse to succumb to the hysteria surrounding this issue.
Reflections on My Childhood
When I was a child, my mom often left us in the car. She’d ask whether we wanted to join her in the grocery store or stay in the car. We’d shout, “Stay in the car!” because it was thrilling. My sister, who is just 15 months younger, and I would wait until she left, then unbuckle ourselves and crawl into the front seats. One of us would grab the steering wheel, pretending to drive to magical places like Disney World, while honking the horn to startle passersby.
On hot days, my mom simply rolled down the windows. This was in the mid-to-late 1980s, during the height of the so-called “stranger danger” era, yet she seemed utterly unconcerned about leaving us alone with open windows for ten minutes. Why would she worry? The parking lots felt safe, and we knew how to cry for help if needed.
It may seem harsh, but my mother had faith in the kindness of strangers. I, however, do not share that sentiment. My concerns aren’t about kidnappers or predators, as many would presume. According to the Brennan Center for Justice, violent crime has decreased by 51% since 1991, and the U.S. murder rate has halved. The Christian Science Monitor indicates that crime levels are at their lowest since 1963, while the University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center shows a 43% decline in child rapes and a 33% drop in physical assaults.
Societal Perceptions and Legal Concerns
So, kids today are statistically safer than I was in the carefree ’80s, during the crack cocaine epidemic. My real fear lies in how others perceive my children alone in the car. I worry about them hurting my family by calling the police. I dread the well-meaning bystander who decides to intervene.
There are numerous accounts of parents being reported for briefly leaving their kids in the car, even when state laws may not expressly prohibit it. Only 19 states have such laws in place. Despite this, there are troubling stories of parents facing legal consequences for doing what I consider a minor lapse in judgment. For example, a father was arrested for leaving his child in a CVS parking lot for just a few minutes, charged with endangering his child’s welfare.
While it’s legal in my state to leave a child in the car, child endangerment laws can still be misapplied. This is absurd. As noted by Free-Range Kids, only about 115 children are abducted by strangers each year—a figure that represents a fraction of all murders in America.
Public perception, however, has shifted. Studies show that fears of crime have risen, leading to what is known as “helicopter parenting,” where parents keep their children within sight at all times. Leaving kids in the car is the ultimate act of independence in contrast to this trend.
Conclusion
Despite my anxiety about judgmental strangers, I will continue to leave my kids in the car. It’s safe, sensible, and honestly, it’s the most convenient approach for quick errands. Nothing significant is likely to happen in just three minutes—except perhaps a Baby Boomer with a cell phone.
My worries are less about my children and more about the reactions of others. If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out our other blog posts, such as the one on artificial insemination kits. You can also refer to resources like WebMD for insights on IUI success, and for a deeper understanding of parenting choices, visit Earthy Tones.
In summary, leaving my kids in the car for a brief period evokes anxiety due to societal judgment rather than actual danger. Though the statistics show that children today are safer, the fear of being misunderstood by others influences my decisions as a parent.