One morning, while waiting in a bustling post office, my son blurted out, “I want a new brother.” I chuckled nervously, unsure of where this conversation might lead. “So, you want to swap your brother for a new one?” I asked, half-joking.
“No, I want more brothers!” he insisted.
As curious glances from strangers began to linger on us, I wished I could disappear. “That’s not going to happen, buddy,” I replied.
“But why not?”
“Because our house is already full of brothers.”
Laughter erupted from the post office patrons, leaving me feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement.
My children frequently inquire about the possibility of welcoming another sibling, a question that perplexes me. Initially, they were content with the simple answer that “our family is complete.” But as time passed, their follow-up questions became more probing:
- “Why’s our family complete with just two kids?”
- “So-and-so has four kids! Why can’t we have more?”
- “Don’t you want more kids?”
- “Doesn’t our opinion matter?”
Sometimes I calmly navigate their inquiries, reminding them of the unique benefits our family size offers. I share that families come in various shapes and sizes and that ours is a happy family of four. Other times, I want to scream, “We aren’t having more kids, so stop asking me!”
Few things frustrate me more than my children’s persistent requests for a sibling. Honestly, I’d rather tackle questions like “How do babies get made?” or “Is Santa real?” than explain why we’re not adding to our family.
How do I articulate that I once envisioned having four children, only to realize that I wouldn’t be able to give them the attention they deserve? How do I express my love for my kids while firmly stating that I don’t desire more? How can I convey that, although I believe our family size is perfect, doubt still lingers? And most importantly, how can I get them to stop asking about a sibling, because it’s driving me nuts?
Frankly, I struggle to find the right words. “Because I said so” is the best I can muster. There’s no logical reasoning; it’s merely a gut feeling that our family is complete. While I understand the unpredictability of life, I can confidently say, “We’re not having more kids.”
Although my partner and I have mostly accepted our decision to stop at two children, I still grapple with guilt and doubt. Am I making the right choice for my kids? Would they flourish with more siblings? Would our family dynamic feel more whole?
Asking these questions often feels pointless. Our family is what it is, and while I once dreamed of a larger family, it just wasn’t in the cards for us. When my kids ask why we’re not expanding our family, I tell them we are complete and that we have enough love — even if it doesn’t fully satisfy their curiosity. I often add that they can have as many siblings as they like when they become parents themselves because I’ll gladly embrace all the grandkids they bring my way.
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In summary, while my children’s desire for a sibling can be challenging, I aim to communicate my feelings honestly while reinforcing that our family is complete as is.