As soon as I saw that positive pregnancy test, I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. Please don’t let it be a holiday baby, I silently pleaded to the tiny life developing inside me. I understood what that would mean—a combined birthday and holiday celebration. The common refrain? “It’s like getting two presents in one!” Spoiler alert: It’s never really double the fun.
Kids born around the holidays often end up with one birthday cake while the festivities of the season overshadow their special day. Sharing a birthday with a major holiday just isn’t fair, especially when the spotlight is on everyone else’s celebrations. Who wants to compete with a holiday that includes twinkling lights, feasting, and abundant presents?
I was relieved when my daughter arrived on January 5, which meant she narrowly escaped the holiday birthday trap. But having a birthday that falls close to a holiday still presents its own set of challenges. Take, for example, the birthday theme; my older sons, who have birthdays in October, revel in the excitement of Halloween-themed parties full of treats, costumes, and fun, while my daughter’s birthday is often a dull affair with little fanfare.
Holiday birthdays, on the other hand, lack a distinct theme. No one wants to celebrate your birthday while also honoring the holiday season. The decorations and party ideas get lost among the red and green of Christmas, leaving little room for personal celebration. Eggnog doesn’t sing “Happy Birthday,” and fruitcake certainly doesn’t cut it as a birthday cake.
When it comes to inviting guests, forget it. Most friends and family are caught up in their own holiday plans, leaving little time for a birthday celebration. If they’re not attending a party, they’re busy preparing for gatherings, cleaning, shopping, or simply trying to escape the holiday chaos.
Then there’s the issue of presents. While my daughter does receive gifts for both her birthday and Christmas, the reality is that the quantity never stacks up to what she would get if her birthday were celebrated separately. Instead, the gifts often come wrapped in festive paper featuring holiday characters—“Happy Birthday! Here’s a gift from Santa!”—every single year.
I know families who navigate these challenges differently. My friend Mark, for instance, shares a birthday with New Year’s Day, and his family started celebrating his birthday in April instead. They threw a big bash then, allowing him to experience the joy of a “real” birthday party. But he often reminisces about how it felt to have his actual birthday overlooked.
In our family, we try to create a unique birthday experience by celebrating my daughter’s day separately. We can light a candle, give her gifts on her birthday, and use distinct wrapping paper, but we can’t control how the world perceives her special day. The holiday season and its festivities tend to overshadow everything else, and that can be disappointing.
Despite our best efforts, the holiday overshadowing remains. We can attempt to sidestep the chaos by avoiding holiday shopping and festive cleaning, but we can’t ask others to do the same. Baby Jesus and his holiday cheer will always steal the limelight.
In summary, holiday birthdays can be a tough break for kids. They often face the disappointment of shared celebrations, lack of themed parties, confused guests, and mixed presents. While it’s possible to create a more personalized experience, the overarching holiday festivities can make it difficult to fully celebrate a child’s special day.
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