Recently, my friend Emily and her young son spent the weekend at our home. His unease with the unfamiliar environment was palpable; he was fussy, clinging to her at every turn, and struggled to settle down for sleep. Our house lacks the babyproofing essentials, particularly around the stairs, so we didn’t have any gates to quickly set up.
As the weekend unfolded, Emily became increasingly stressed and kept apologizing for her son’s “behavior,” repeatedly insisting, “He’s not usually like this.” My husband and I tried to reassure her, saying, “We’re parents too; we totally get it.” Yet, it was evident she was grappling with her feelings of embarrassment.
Here’s the thing I wish she could understand: I genuinely appreciate when other people’s children act out.
I’m serious! Whether it’s crying, whining, or throwing a tantrum (okay, maybe not the sleepless nights), it’s a relief to witness. Why, you may ask? Because it reminds me that I’m not alone in feeling embarrassed by my kids’ antics. I often find myself worried about how they might be perceived—too loud, too unruly, too defiant. Seeing her son express himself so openly reassured me that my children aren’t the only ones who can throw epic fits.
It’s so easy to slip into the trap of comparing my kids’ behavior to the seemingly perfect children I see on social media or at other gatherings. I need the reminder that those snapshots don’t represent the full reality of parenting.
So, Emily, please don’t feel the need to apologize for your son’s outbursts. Watching him cling to you and yell for you to pick him up provided a sense of relief. It was comforting to know that he too can be a handful, just like my own children.
Remember that lunch we had when your son peacefully slept in his carrier while mine was busy making a mess? I was so envious that day. But now, seeing your son cry half the day made me realize that I was wrong to assume he was a perfect little angel.
Your frustrations about his nap struggles were completely relatable. The constant trips upstairs to remind him to lie down mirrored my own experiences. I can assure you that I don’t find your child’s behavior annoying—instead, it lightens my heart.
As we navigate through our parenting journeys, let’s remember that it’s perfectly normal for kids to act out. In fact, it helps to know that we’re all in this together, and sometimes, it’s just a little easier to breathe when we see each other’s kids being, well, kids.
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Summary:
It’s important to embrace the reality that children can act out, and there’s no need to apologize for it. Witnessing another parent’s struggles can be a reassuring reminder that we are not alone in our parenting challenges.