My partner claims I have a caffeine dependency. In response, I proudly display the nutritional label on my beloved Coke Zero. “Check out all those zeros,” I boast. “It’s practically water! In fact, it might even be better than water. Science has made it superior!”
She just doesn’t see it my way. Lisa is a devoted water drinker, resembling a modern-day ascetic, and I can’t fathom how she manages — or how any parent survives without caffeine. Whether it’s coffee, energy drinks, espresso, or soda, the reality is that many of us parents need a little boost to keep moving forward. Juggling sleepless nights with the relentless demands of life is no easy task.
For me, Coke Zero is the drink of choice. It resembles regular Coke much more than Diet Coke does, delivering a cooler, fresher taste, less reminiscent of what my mother would sip.
Last year, while at Costco to stock up on Coke Zero, I panicked when I couldn’t find it on the shelves. I interrogated several employees, fearing it had been discontinued, only to discover they had relocated it because it was on sale. Though this may seem like a trivial story, any caffeine-loving parent can relate to the sheer anxiety I felt at the thought of not being able to buy my preferred soda in bulk.
I won’t deny that I’m embarrassed about that moment of panic. But here’s the reality: I have three kids, and none of them are champion sleepers. One refuses to sleep, another wakes frequently, and the third is an early riser. The titles shift between them nightly, depending on their moods and perhaps the position of the stars. But one thing remains constant: sleep is elusive. After a decade of uncertainty about when rest will occur, caffeine has become my lifeline — I rely on it heavily.
Maybe I’m using my children as a scapegoat. Maybe I should just embrace water like Lisa. But that’s not happening. I enjoyed caffeine long before becoming a parent. Back then, I slept well and didn’t spend my weekends shuttling kids to soccer practice. My worries were more about paying rent and car bills, not the crushing reality that losing my job could leave my family vulnerable.
Caffeine doesn’t solve these issues. It doesn’t. However, it does make facing them a bit more bearable. At the very least, it keeps my eyelids from drooping so I can pretend to be a functioning adult.
Ultimately, this is the reality of a caffeine-dependent parent. It involves being grumpy in the mornings until I can get my fix, dragging through long days after sleepless nights with a can in one hand and a toddler in the other. It means hearing “Another one, really?” multiple times a day. It means judgment and the need to justify my caffeine purchases to Lisa as essential for my sanity. It also means my kids poking fun at how much I drink, as if they aren’t the root of my exhaustion.
Ironically, my mother was a Diet Coke addict, and I used to tease her about it (before I had kids, of course). She would respond with a tired smile that seemed to convey, “You did this to me.” At the time, I didn’t grasp the meaning behind her expression. I was simply enjoying the banter.
Now that I’m a dad, I finally understand. I get why my mother relied on caffeine. I owe her more than just a thank you; I owe her a couple of cases of soda.
Parenting is tough, and something as simple as a diet soda isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. So if you know a parent who can’t get through the day without caffeine, keep your snide comments to yourself. Recognize that they’re doing what they can to survive, and maybe offer to buy them a drink. You might just earn their eternal gratitude.
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Summary:
In this candid piece, Jake Thompson reflects on his reliance on caffeine as a parent of three sleep-deprived children. He humorously shares his panic at the thought of being without his favorite Coke Zero and explores the realities of parenting while juggling work and family demands. Ultimately, he emphasizes understanding and support for fellow parents who lean on caffeine to navigate their daily challenges.