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If You Are in an Abusive Relationship, Please Reach Out to Me
by Sarah Mitchell
Updated: November 25, 2023
Originally Published: November 25, 2023
Not long ago, I was scrolling through my social media feed when a heart-wrenching image caught my attention. It was the face of a woman, partially covered in bandages, her eyes and cheeks bruised and swollen. She shared her story in a private online writing group that I belong to, seeking solace in a safe environment.
This woman, who had escaped an abusive relationship, recently found herself the victim of a brutal attack by her ex-partner, who broke into her home. Like countless others, she faced violence from someone who was supposed to protect her. Her experience is shocking but unfortunately all too common.
I have never experienced violence from a loved one. I cannot fully comprehend the confusion, fear, and unwarranted shame that survivors of abuse endure, and I don’t wish to claim solidarity through personal experience. However, I am committed to offering support.
Her story led me to delve into narratives from other survivors of domestic violence. I read countless accounts of women who concealed their injuries, rationalized their partners’ abusive actions, and feared for their lives during moments of rage. Many abusers manipulate their victims into believing they are to blame for the violence, offering apologies and promises that it will never happen again.
In these stories, I sought to understand the experiences of the abused rather than the abuser. I recognize that many women find themselves trapped in abusive situations without realizing how they got there. Abuse often escalates gradually, defying the notion of a clear-cut escape plan. Strong, intelligent women can remain in toxic relationships for years, unsure how to break free. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence.
The statistics surrounding domestic violence are alarming. In the United States, one in four women will experience severe violence from an intimate partner at some point in their lives. This means that many of us know women who are or have been in abusive situations, often without realizing it. I wish I could eliminate these staggering numbers, but that is beyond my control.
What I can do is provide a safe space for those feeling trapped in a dangerous relationship. I want to be a refuge for anyone feeling lost in a tumultuous sea of fear, shame, and blame. I will listen when you say you don’t feel safe. I will reassure you, as many times as necessary, that the abuse is not your fault. Nothing you did justifies the violence you have endured. I will help connect you with the resources you need.
I promise to be a source of both emotional and physical safety. I won’t question why you stayed or waited to seek help; I understand that emotional manipulation is a common tactic in abusive relationships. I won’t ask why your partner became angry, as you’ve likely asked yourself that same question countless times, often without a clear answer. I won’t judge you for loving someone who hurts you because love can be complicated.
But I will tell you this: someone who truly loves you should never inflict harm. You do not deserve to have your body or spirit violated. I will support you as you navigate reaching out to authorities, holding your hand through that daunting process. I will offer whatever strength you need.
If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t feel completely safe, please reach out—whether to a friend, a stranger, or to me. Don’t worry that someone like me, who hasn’t experienced your pain, won’t understand. There’s no shame in admitting that you’re in a situation that feels impossible to escape. You are not alone in this struggle.
Your experiences are valid. This statement is not trivial; it is a fundamental truth. You are not alone.
My friend shared her story here anonymously, hoping that it resonates with others who may be in similar situations and encourages them to seek help.
If you are being harmed, please speak up. If one person doesn’t help, keep reaching out until you find someone who can support you in reclaiming your safety. If you need a discreet place to turn, visit www.domesticshelters.org. Remember, you do not have to remain with an abusive partner. You owe them nothing, and suffering is not an option. There is no judgment here—just solidarity and support.
Reach out to me. You are not alone, and you have the strength to get through this.
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Summary: This article discusses the importance of reaching out for help if you find yourself in an abusive relationship. It emphasizes that victims are not alone and deserve support. It encourages women to share their stories and seek assistance from trusted individuals or resources.