Brace yourselves—Thanksgiving is here, and it’s time to don your elastic-waist pants and stock the fridge with your favorite beverages. Family gatherings, sumptuous feasts, and a dash of laughter await. However, let’s be real—how much joy can a parent truly extract from Thanksgiving? Sure, there will be moments of joy—football games, a perfectly roasted turkey, and maybe a glass or two of wine. But let’s not kid ourselves: your children will continue to be picky eaters. Instead of turning their noses up at your cooking, they’ll now reject Aunt Sally’s green bean casserole, earning her ire for the rest of the day.
Tired from travel and disrupted sleep schedules, kids will throw tantrums left and right. They’ll buzz with excitement about the upcoming Elf on the Shelf while the grandparents shove them full of sugary treats. It’s a recipe for chaos. Thankfully, we parents on Twitter have plenty to share about the delightful madness that is Thanksgiving with little ones.
1. They Don’t Care About Your Feast
Amid the grandeur of a Thanksgiving spread, your kids will still crave their usual favorites. Fire up those instant mac and cheese cups, Grandma; they could care less about your sweet potato pie.
2. Brace for Embarrassment
Prepare yourself for some awkward moments at the dinner table! If your child is in preschool, expect them to announce to everyone that “mommy and daddy wrestle” behind closed doors on Sunday mornings. Stock up on extra wine; you’ll need it.
3. The Art of Deception
Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity to pretend you’re a gourmet chef. Throw on a cute apron, and no one will question your culinary skills. Trust me, I’ve been there.
4. Elastic Waistbands Are Essential
Wearing pants with a zipper on this day is as offensive as turning down my famous Stuffin’ Muffins—just don’t do it.
5. Cheers to Vodka
Honestly, kid, you’re not applying to college. Just jot down “my iPad” and be done.
6. Wine is Life
We just really, really love wine.
7. Reality Check
Thanksgiving can be added to the list of once-fun occasions that became a source of whining and complaints post-kids. #Blessed.
8. Awkward Conversations Await
Post-election, many of us are bracing for uncomfortable family dinners. “Enjoy” might be too strong a word when it comes to debating with your uncle about hate crimes. Again, indulge in the wine.
9. Longing for Peace
Try not to envy your child-free siblings sprawled on the couch, savoring pie and watching football while you juggle yet another toddler tantrum. One day, you’ll get to relax too—like in 15 years.
10. The Same, But Different
Thanksgiving is just a regular day of parenting, only with more food prep and an audience critiquing your every move. So much to be thankful for.
11. Cranberry Sauce? No Thanks
Nobody actually likes cranberry sauce, so you’re doing the world a favor by skipping it.
12. Don’t Forget to Prepare Dad
This is crucial. Give dad a heads-up so you aren’t using all your data scrolling on your phone to escape your family. Happy Thanksgiving, parents!
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Summary: Thanksgiving can be a chaotic experience for parents, filled with picky eaters, awkward family dynamics, and the quest for sanity amidst the chaos. However, with humor and some strategic planning, parents can navigate the day with a little bit of grace and a lot of wine.