In today’s world, where empathy seems to be at an all-time low, pregnant women often find themselves facing harsh criticism when they express their frustrations. It’s bewildering to see numerous comments online suggesting that women should remain silent regarding their pregnancy complaints. The reasons behind this attitude are often selfish and inconsiderate, and I, for one, am fed up with people dictating how expectant mothers should feel.
Pregnancy isn’t always a glowing journey filled with joy. Instead, it can be a 10-month ordeal filled with a myriad of uncomfortable symptoms, some of which can be downright embarrassing and painful. Sure, we’re often told that we’re miracles in motion, but there are days when I just want to indulge in a pint of ice cream and vent about my discomfort, even if it means facing some regrettable consequences afterward.
You might not see my struggles at first glance. You might miss the anxiety bubbling beneath the surface before an upcoming doctor’s appointment or the worries about how much of my prenatal vitamins actually reach my baby when they end up in the toilet. You might not realize that I’ve been battling a relentless yeast infection for weeks. Yeah, it’s not glamorous.
So when I say, “I’m so tired,” or “The smell of chicken makes me nauseous,” or “I really miss brie and wine,” responses like “You knew what you signed up for!” or “Some women can’t conceive, so you shouldn’t complain!” are not helpful.
In this era where we emphasize the idea that “It takes a village,” let’s apply that to how we support pregnant women—with kindness and empathy.
Yes, I will vent. Yes, I will cry. Yes, I might lose my composure. But this isn’t the time for judgment or unsolicited advice about how I should handle these feelings.
What Would Be Truly Supportive?
Here are a few suggestions:
- Ask me how I’m feeling—directly. Not my partner or anyone else, just me.
- Listen without jumping in with advice.
- Bring me snacks—be it cake, steak, or whatever I’m craving at the moment.
- Share a light-hearted story or joke (preferably after I’ve used the bathroom).
- Offer to take me out for lunch or handle the dishes while I take a breather.
- Check if I need anything—like those snacks or a foot rub.
- Help distract me with discussions about baby names or other exciting topics.
- Just be a decent, compassionate human being.
Pregnancy and motherhood can be extremely challenging. Every woman’s experience is unique, and it’s important to recognize that we all deserve to express our feelings without guilt or shame. To all the mothers and mothers-to-be, I see you, I understand your struggles, and I’m here for you. Treat yourself to whatever you’re craving and take a moment to relax—you’ve earned it.
And to those who believe that women should suppress their complaints, I can only wish you experience the discomfort of pregnancy firsthand.
For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation and learn more about fertility at Intracervical Insemination. If you’re interested in exploring self-conception, consider the at-home insemination kit for a convenient option.
In summary, it’s vital for pregnant women to have the space to express their feelings without facing criticism. Compassion and understanding should prevail over judgment.