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- Navigating Intimacy When Living with Little Ones: The Ultimate Guide
by Claire Johnson
Updated: June 29, 2021
Originally Published: November 7, 2016
Let’s be honest: I had no clue about the challenges of maintaining intimacy with kids around until I welcomed my first child. Before parenthood, I never attempted to have intimate moments while the piercing cries of a baby echoed just a few feet away from where I was trying to be romantic.
But then, marriage and parenthood arrived, and everything changed. All the courage it took for that first intimate encounter post-baby was overshadowed by the reality of interruptions. I still vividly remember exclaiming in frustration, “Can someone please quiet that baby?!” to which my partner responded, “What a little cockblocker!”
In that moment, we realized our journey toward intimacy would be riddled with obstacles—those little “cockblockers” we lovingly call our children.
Oh, the irony! Who would have thought that a simple scene would turn into the repeated refrain of our household for the next 18 years? I now have a profound understanding of what it means to have a “cockblocker,” and I bet you do too, considering that tube of personal lubricant you’ve tucked away in your nightstand.
These tiny interruptions seem to appear at the most inconvenient moments. Just when you think you’ve successfully tucked the kids into bed and are ready for a romantic evening, one of them suddenly needs a drink or wants you to check for monsters hiding in the closet.
And just when you think you might finally have some quality time together? Someone inevitably gets sick or has an accident, pulling you right back into the chaos.
The reality is that as parents, we have to take charge of our intimate lives—figuratively (and literally). Prioritizing your sexual health does not make you a bad parent. On the contrary, it signifies that you value your marriage and understand that a healthy sex life is crucial for maintaining a strong relationship. Yes, it may mean ignoring a child or two for a few minutes, but trust me, they will be fine.
Remember, if you keep waiting for the perfect moment, you might find yourselves in rocking chairs at a nursing home, reminiscing about a time when intimacy was more than a distant memory.
Essential Guidelines for Parents
- If the master bedroom door is locked, knocking incessantly is only allowed for major emergencies (think blood or lost teeth).
- Explain to the kids that Mom and Dad need time to “talk” privately. This “talk” can take longer than expected, so please respect our space.
- When you say it’s bedtime, it means bedtime. Stay in your room unless there’s an emergency. If you need something, do not disturb us; remember, we are “sleeping” soundly.
- Once they reach their teenage years, a little cash and a trip for ice cream can go a long way in giving you some uninterrupted time.
Having kids doesn’t mean you have to abandon your intimate life. It does require creativity and a willingness to block out distractions, even when they seem relentless.
So, parents, fight for your intimacy. It’s worth it.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out our blog post on the Cryobaby At-Home Insemination Kit. For additional insights on maintaining a healthy relationship, see Mindful Monday, which offers valuable perspectives on nurturing your dreams and relationship. If you’re considering pregnancy options, Healthline is an excellent resource for information on IVF.
Summary
Balancing intimacy in a home filled with children can be challenging, but it is essential for a healthy marriage. By establishing boundaries and prioritizing your relationship, you can navigate the complexities of parenthood while still enjoying a fulfilling intimate life.