Today, I found myself doing something I swore I would never let happen—I stepped on the scale in front of my daughter. It was a moment of careless habit; I just tapped the scale to activate it, stripped off my pajamas, and climbed on. That’s when I caught sight of her curious brown eyes watching me.
“Oh no,” I thought.
Before becoming a mother, I promised myself that I wouldn’t project my own struggles with body image onto my daughter. I envisioned a future where we discussed our bodies as amazing vessels that support us through life. I imagined using affirming terms like “strong” and “capable” rather than “thin” or “attractive.” I aimed to break the cycle of body shame that so many women face by showing her the importance of self-love, regardless of size. But life has a funny way of derailing even the best intentions.
As the chaos of motherhood unfolded, I found myself losing sleep and grappling with an endless to-do list: thousands of diaper changes, mountains of laundry, and an overwhelming amount of spit-up on my clothes. In the midst of all this, I slipped into self-critical remarks. “I used to fit into these pants,” I’d sigh while struggling with a stubborn zipper. “Before you came along, I had a waist,” I’d mutter as I rummaged through a pile of loose shirts. Unbeknownst to me, I was teaching her to compare and evaluate bodies.
Then came that morning when I stepped onto the scale, a ritual I had practiced for years—ever since a careless comment from a past boyfriend made me question my worth based on my weight. But those innocent little eyes were watching, and I could see my daughter’s admiration.
To her, I’m perfect. My soft curves are a safe haven; my arms are the perfect size for her to hug. She doesn’t care about numbers or labels—she sees her mom as a superhero. And I feel the same way about her. I admire her joyful smile and her active little legs as she learns to navigate the world.
So, instead of vowing to shield her from my body image struggles—a promise I know I can’t keep—I choose to be honest. I’ll explain that society can be harsh toward women about their appearance. Unkind voices will try to convince us that our worth is measured by our size or shape. Those voices might come from media, peers, or even authority figures.
However, I will also teach her that those opinions are misguided. Anyone who objectifies a woman does not deserve our attention. Every individual—regardless of their appearance—has the right to exist, to express themselves, and to be valued for who they are rather than what they look like.
I’ll expose her to a world filled with genuine people who uplift one another, who celebrate achievements, and who provide support during difficult times. These are the folks who emphasize character and kindness over mere physical appearance. Thankfully, we have many of these positive influences in our lives.
While I do face challenges in finding peace in a society that often labels me as “too much,” I realize that pretending these feelings don’t exist won’t help my daughter when she encounters similar experiences.
So, sweet girl, here’s my renewed promise: I’ll be transparent with you. I’ll acknowledge that despite being a strong, capable woman, I still feel the weight of external pressures. But I’ll also show you that true beauty is reflected in kindness, intelligence, and strength rather than a random number on a scale. And yes, I might even let you watch me smash that scale to bits with a sledgehammer one day!
For those curious about starting their own journey, check out our post on using a home insemination kit or explore recipes like this slow-cooker lentil and sweet potato stew that promote healthy living. If you’re interested in the ins and outs of IVF, this resource on the IVF process is a great read as well.
Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, Emily Harper candidly shares her struggles with body image and her commitment to fostering a positive body image in her daughter. She acknowledges the societal pressures women face and vows to be honest about her own challenges while promoting the importance of kindness, intelligence, and strength over superficial standards.