On October 11, during National Coming Out Day, I found myself on the subway, absorbing the striking PFLAG posters that celebrated acceptance and love for the LGBTQ community. These messages resonated deeply with me, reminding me of my own coming out experience.
The words on those posters echoed what I once shared with my parents—the hardest yet most liberating revelation of my life. When I finally told my mother, the anxiety was overwhelming. I feared her reaction, worried that she might reject me. Over dinner, with tears in my eyes, I confessed, “Mom, I need to tell you something important. Before anything happens, I want you to know who I am. Mom, I’m gay.” The tears flowed, but her immediate embrace and affirmation of love were life-changing. “You are my child, and I will always love you,” she said, and in that moment, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
Although my parents were supportive, they initially struggled to understand my journey. They sought resources to help navigate their feelings and to better comprehend my experiences. As a parent myself now, I can’t imagine not being there for my child, not offering love and support. Sadly, many don’t share this experience, as not all parents embrace their children with open arms.
When our son, Leo, was born, we held him close, sharing our hopes and dreams for his life. We penned a heartfelt letter to him that we’d like to share:
Dear Leo,
You are just a few days old, and so many people love you! You were a dream of Daddy and Papa’s for so long, and we can’t believe you’re finally here. Our love for you knows no bounds. We promise to always support you in whatever pursuits you choose in life and will strive to protect you. Our wish is for you to grow up happy, courageous, and kind. Stand up for others, treat everyone with respect, and most importantly, be true to yourself. No matter where life takes you, we will be right behind you, cheering you on.
Love, Daddy and Papa
People often say Leo is fortunate to have such loving parents, but we feel incredibly blessed to have him in our lives. Our experiences have uniquely prepared us to guide him toward becoming his authentic self.
I often reflect on whether our acceptance of others stems from our own experiences as a gay couple. Our desire to fit in may make us more empathetic, and if Leo were to come to us in the future with his own identity—be it gay, trans, or even straight—we would support him wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, many parents still struggle with accepting their children for who they are.
Fortunately, numerous support networks and online resources exist for those grappling with coming out or for parents seeking guidance. Resources like PFLAG, Advocates for Youth, and Family Services are invaluable. Additionally, if you’re looking for more information on the topic, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In the end, everyone just wants to be loved and accepted. Love knows no boundaries.