Receiving a diagnosis of postpartum depression and anxiety can be alarming for both the individual and their partner. Many people are aware of the tragic stories of women struggling with these conditions, often leading to devastating outcomes. When I was diagnosed after the birth of my third child, my partner, Jake, was understandably overwhelmed. He wanted to help but felt helpless, unsure of how to combat such a formidable challenge. However, as we navigated this journey together, Jake learned that there is a lot he could do to support me through this difficult time.
Acknowledge Her Emotions
It’s essential to remember that she cannot simply dismiss the thoughts and feelings that arise. In the early stages of her condition, these feelings may seem overwhelmingly real, making her feel unworthy or inadequate. Rather than trying to argue against these feelings with statements like, “You know that’s not true,” Jake learned to respond with empathy: “I’m so sorry you feel this way. That sounds really painful.” Validating her emotions helps create a supportive environment.
Trust in Her Therapist’s Expertise
It’s crucial to respect her choices regarding therapy and medication. While you can express your concerns if you believe her therapist is not meeting her needs, it’s vital to recognize that professionals have the training necessary to treat postpartum conditions. If you’re unsure about her treatment, consider asking if you can accompany her to a therapy session. This can provide insight into her therapy and help you understand her treatment plan.
Assist with Medication and Breastfeeding Decisions
If she is on medication, support her in making informed decisions regarding breastfeeding. Research together to understand which medications are compatible with nursing. Ultimately, it’s her choice, and whatever decision she makes should be met with your full support. For instance, I chose to continue breastfeeding while on medication, and Jake respected my decisions without question.
Avoid Accusatory Questions About Medication
Instead of asking, “Did you take your pills today?” which may come off as accusatory, consider using more supportive reminders. Gentle nudges or practical solutions like a pill organizer or mobile reminders may be more effective without making her feel judged.
Encourage Rest
After a long day of parenting or working, she needs time to recharge. Taking care of the baby and other duties can provide her with the necessary rest to feel better. A little time to sleep can make a world of difference in her recovery.
Handle Meals
Cooking often falls to her, and it can become a significant source of stress. Taking the initiative to prepare meals can alleviate this burden. She’ll benefit from healthy food, which can aid in her recovery process.
Ease Up on Screen Time for Older Kids
Don’t hesitate to relax screen time rules for older children. A little extra TV can provide you and your partner with much-needed downtime together. With the baby settled, pop on a family movie to enjoy some quiet moments.
Prioritize Couple Time
Despite her feelings of inadequacy, it’s essential to maintain your relationship. Plan simple outings, even if it’s just a trip to a local diner. Getting out together can help rekindle your connection, even if she initially resists.
Utilize Baby Carriers
Investing in a comfortable baby carrier can be a lifesaver. It allows you to keep the baby close while tackling household chores or simply enjoying some downtime, enabling your partner to take a much-needed break.
Consider Hiring Help
While not necessary every day, bringing in a cleaning service once a week can significantly lessen the burden of household chores. A tidy environment can promote a more positive atmosphere, supporting her emotional well-being.
Your Role is Vital
Supporting a spouse dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety requires emotional and physical commitment. Ensure you also take care of yourself to avoid burnout. Remember that your partner needs your help now more than ever, as your support can significantly influence her healing journey.
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In summary, supporting a partner through postpartum depression and anxiety involves understanding, patience, and active participation in their care. Your support can make a significant difference in her recovery journey.