Having a large family, I’ve come to realize that welcoming Baby No. 4 marks a significant transition. At this point, society seems to strip you of your “normal large family” status and requires you to apply for a special “extra-large family” license. But that’s not quite what I want to discuss.
With the arrival of Baby No. 4, a noticeable change occurs within you. You become a seasoned pro at parenting, and your approach reflects that. Here are some ways in which raising your first baby differs dramatically from nurturing your fourth (and fifth or sixth).
First baby vs. Fourth baby
First baby: Is it really okay for us to leave the hospital with this little one?
Fourth baby: Who actually pays attention to the 20-minute discharge video?
First baby: We had the baby’s name picked out and the crib bedding monogrammed by the second trimester.
Fourth baby: The nurse has asked for the birth certificate form four times! We need to come up with something quick!
First baby: I’ve spent weeks researching the most educational toys for newborns, and I have a top 10 list ready for our registry.
Fourth baby: You know what’s truly stimulating for newborns? Just being awake!
First baby: I love getting personalized items for my baby!
Fourth baby: It’s fine if his bibs say “Little Miss Sunshine,” right? This towel has his brother’s name on it; that’s okay too?
First baby: Why didn’t anyone warn me that breastfeeding would be this challenging?!
Fourth baby: (nursing while supervising two older siblings and making a phone call)
First baby: We just had the baby last Friday! Have you received our photo announcements yet?
Fourth baby: Sweetheart, it’s been two months. Can we just post something on Facebook instead?
First baby: The baby will be crawling soon, so we need to secure the furniture, install baby gates, cover outlets, and lock up the low cabinets and toilets.
Fourth baby: Well, the stairs are carpeted; I think we’re fine.
First baby: Oh no, that pacifier fell on the floor! It’s contaminated now.
Fourth baby: (glance around, wait five minutes, then pop it back into the baby’s mouth)
First baby: We look forward to bath time every night as part of the bedtime routine!
Fourth baby: If I wipe the spit-up off during the next diaper change, she should be good for another few days.
First baby: Oh no, that’s during naptime. We’ll need to reschedule.
Fourth baby: Anytime works; she’ll just nap in the car.
First baby: Is everything packed in the diaper bag? Diapers, wipes, rash cream, changing pad, receiving blankets, burp cloths, two extra outfits, a hat, nasal aspirator, gas drops, pacifiers, snacks, teething rings, toys, hand sanitizer, nursing cover…
Fourth baby: Boobs? Check. Diaper? Let me toss one in my purse and we’re good to go.
First baby: After months of anticipation, she’s finally mobile! Luckily, there’s a video of it on YouTube and hundreds of pictures on my blog.
Fourth baby: Does anyone need some 6-month pants? We’re switching to dresses to delay crawling.
First baby: “…and they all lived happily ever after. The End.” Want to hear it again?
Fourth baby: “Once upon a ti—” You kids, stop yelling! “Once up—” I said don’t jump on that! “Once upon a—” That’s it! I’m coming up, and everyone is getting a time out!
So, what do you think? Maybe you become more laid-back after having four kids, or perhaps you just have less time and fewer brain cells to spare. It’s likely a mix of both.
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In summary, parenting evolves with each child, and the experience becomes more relaxed and pragmatic with each additional baby.