At our home, Halloween is a big deal. We’re basically the modern-day equivalents of Tim and Sally Parker—just a couple of average folks who tend to go all out every October, spending more than we probably should on the spooktacular festivities. Given our expertise in all things Halloween, I felt it was crucial to warn fellow adults about the potential pitfalls of handing out lackluster treats to trick-or-treaters.
While not every household can be the one giving away king-sized candy bars (we’re not that house either), every family can steer clear of becoming the neighborhood laughingstock by avoiding these dreadful Halloween goodies that are akin to a stain on an otherwise pristine outfit.
1. Cow Tales
These treats not only look unappealing, resembling a twisted piece of dried-up excrement, but their taste is just as unpleasant—a far cry from delightful.
2. Butterscotch Candies
Ah, butterscotch, the candy equivalent of a senior citizen’s bingo night. If your grandma were out with the kids, you might be a hit, but for everyone else, you’re simply outdated.
3. Fruit Snacks
This isn’t snack time; it’s Halloween! Treat the kids to something special instead of everyday snacks. Organic options might seem healthy, but they don’t score any points during the spooky season.
4. Good and Plenty
These candies resemble Pepto-Bismol in chiclet form. If it looks like medicine, it should stay on the shelf.
5. Jujubes
Just one word: gross.
6. Fast Food Coupons
Sending kids off with homework? That’s lazy. Just give them something sweet like a Snickers instead.
7. Necco Wafers
No child dreams of receiving chalky, flavored discs. If it looks like something you’d find in a medicine cabinet, it shouldn’t be in their treat bags.
8. Peanut Butter Kisses
Would you eat these? Also, consider allergies; handing these out is like giving a ticking time bomb to kids.
9. Pennies
Seriously, why would you make kids buy their own candy? Save those for throwing at the people giving out butterscotch.
10. Raisins
It’s Halloween! Let the kids indulge a little.
11. Toothbrushes
Come on. No one wants dental hygiene reminders when they’re out for candy.
12. Tootsie Pops
You cheapen the experience with these. Spring for some quality chocolate treats instead.
13. Whoppers
Chocolate-covered malt balls are best left at the beach, not in a Halloween bag.
As Maya Angelou said, when you “know better, you do better.” She might not have been thinking about Halloween candy, but the sentiment applies here. If you want to be the house everyone remembers fondly, take this advice to heart. Now that you’re informed, go out there and make this Halloween memorable! For more tips on family building and other topics, you can visit this resource. And if you’re looking for unique alternatives for celebrations, check out this article.
In summary, avoid these 13 awful Halloween treats to maintain your neighborhood’s fondness and reputation. Instead, opt for treats that kids will truly enjoy, making your house the go-to spot for trick-or-treaters.