“How are you holding up?” the psychologist inquired after the session with my son.
This question has been posed to me frequently since my son received his mental health diagnoses—by caring friends, family, and even my partner. I truly appreciate the concern, yet I often find myself at a loss for words.
The past several weeks, even months, have felt like an overwhelming whirlwind of symptoms, outbursts, and a mix of medications—some effective, others not. We’ve seen an array of doctors and therapists, ultimately culminating in a thorough neuropsychiatric evaluation at one of the leading children’s hospitals in the country.
After several days of assessments, questionnaires, family history documentation, and detailed interviews, we received a diagnosis list that aligned with the DSM-V criteria. Confirming our suspicions, they validated my son’s generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis, added ADHD to the mix, and identified a mood disorder as well.
As I left the hospital, my hand clasped in my son’s, I felt a shift in the air—everything suddenly seemed foreign and daunting.
Returning home, I was met with the same chaotic kitchen we had left behind that morning. My eldest child was buzzing with excitement about a new discovery related to flightless fruit flies as food for frogs. Meanwhile, my husband was trying to catch up on work after taking time off.
I’ve mentioned this before, and I’ll reiterate: receiving a mental health diagnosis for your child doesn’t change anything about your daily life. The only thing that shifts is your heart—once it’s affected, it never returns to its previous state.
Despite the diagnosis, the meltdowns persist, sleepless nights are unending, and my child continues to face pain. Treatment takes time to initiate and even longer to show results. With my eldest son, it took months before we noticed any relief, a reminder I need to hold onto.
The hardest part of this limbo between diagnosis and effective treatment is witnessing my sweet boy’s suffering, feeling utterly helpless to alleviate it. As a mother, the notion of doing nothing seems profoundly wrong—yet it requires a level of courage and faith that feels daunting.
Strategies for Support
In this challenging phase, I’ve discovered a few strategies that may offer support:
- Embrace Relaxation: The demands of scheduling, schooling, meal planning, and other commitments need to be adjusted during this season. We’re in survival mode now.
- Prioritize Time with Siblings: My eldest son is thriving at the moment, and while it’s tempting to let him be the “easier” child while I focus on my newly diagnosed son, that wouldn’t be wise. He needs my reassurance as he navigates the changes in our family dynamic and sees the impact on his brother.
- Pray Consistently: I find solace in prayer—honest, raw conversations with God. I pray for healing, patience, and support. I offer up cries for help and questions that weigh heavy on my heart. These prayers, even those expressed through tears, remind me that God is present in our struggles.
As time passes, I begin to see the beauty in my son’s unique mind. Despite the diagnoses, my artistic, empathetic, and loving boy remains, and in many ways, his challenges contribute to the depth of his character.
I refuse to selectively love the parts of him that I find easy; I embrace all that he is, exactly as he is.
So when someone asks, “How are you doing?” my answer is simple: I am loving him with everything I have.
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Summary
After receiving my child’s mental health diagnoses, life has felt overwhelming and unchanged. The journey of treatment is ongoing, filled with challenges and hope. I prioritize supporting my children and finding peace through prayer while embracing my son’s unique qualities.