In the realm of sex education, opinions often fall into two polarized categories. On one side, there are the advocates of abstinence-only programs who argue that teaching young people about contraception will merely encourage sexual activity. On the opposite end, you have those who believe that since teenagers will likely engage in sex anyway, it’s best to provide them with condoms and other resources without any restrictions. Unfortunately, both extremes fail to adequately serve our children.
As a homeschooling parent, my spouse and I are responsible for our kids’ education about sex. We firmly believe in providing them with comprehensive information. We don’t shy away from discussions about sex, and as they approach the age where these topics become relevant, we aim to ensure they possess a complete understanding of the subject.
While I support the idea of abstinence for various reasons, I don’t see the rationale in withholding essential information about sex, pregnancy, and disease prevention from teens. This is a fundamental aspect of health education. Regardless of one’s personal views on sexual activity, the facts about sex remain the same.
Moreover, I find using shame as a deterrent for sexual activity ineffective and counterproductive. We wish for our children to delay sexual involvement for both moral and health considerations, but instilling shame about their natural feelings is not the answer. One can encourage abstinence without suggesting that sex is inherently wrong or that maintaining virginity is paramount.
Sex is a powerful experience, which is precisely why we advocate for them to wait. We want our children to enjoy fulfilling and healthy sexual lives, but we also recognize that it is a tempting subject. As parents, we must remain pragmatic without assuming all teens are engaging in sexual activity. I didn’t have sex in high school, nor did my spouse, and many of my friends felt the same way.
According to the CDC, in 2015, only 41% of high school students reported having had sexual intercourse. This statistic shows that while a significant number have, it’s still less than half of the population. The average age for first sexual experiences is around 17, indicating that many teenagers do not engage in sex during high school. Therefore, the assumption that “everyone is doing it” is misleading.
We will be candid with our kids about the risks associated with sex, including the reality that no method of birth control is entirely foolproof. It’s crucial to convey that engaging in sexual activity always carries the potential for pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, even with protection. I learned this the hard way as an adult, realizing how common it is for contraception to fail.
When the time comes for our children to make such decisions, we will explain that true readiness for sex involves understanding the potential consequences, including the possibility of pregnancy and the emotional complexities involved. Emotional risk is a vital aspect of sexual relationships that often gets overlooked when sex is treated as a purely physical act.
We will encourage our children to wait until they are in loving, committed relationships, as this fosters a deeper emotional connection. Additionally, we will respect their autonomy and acknowledge that their views on sex may differ from ours, rooted in our faith that reserves sex for marriage. Even if they choose to reject this belief, we will not shame them.
We avoid demeaning metaphors for losing virginity and recognize the challenges of navigating sexual choices as they mature. Our goal is to instill a sense of responsibility regarding their sexual decisions, ensuring they are well-informed about the implications of those choices, including understanding consent and how to manage external pressures.
Ultimately, we will emphasize that until they are genuinely prepared for the responsibilities that accompany sex, they should abstain. Even when taking morality out of the discussion, abstinence stands out as the most prudent, healthiest option for teenagers. There is no need to rely on shame to convey this message.
For more insightful guidance on family planning and related topics, you can explore posts like the one on home insemination kits. For those looking for authoritative information on fertility and pregnancy, TFP Boston is an excellent resource. Additionally, Healthline offers comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, advocating for abstinence can be done effectively without shaming your child. By providing them with accurate information, fostering open discussions, and respecting their autonomy, you can guide them toward making informed decisions about their sexuality.