Updated: Dec. 5, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 21, 2016
It’s disheartening when a stranger criticizes a mother for breastfeeding in public, yet unfortunately, it’s a frequent occurrence. We often hear tales of women being told to cover up, exit the area, or “just use a bottle” to appease onlookers. But what happens when the criticism arises from someone you know personally?
This was the experience of a mother who gained attention for her Instagram post detailing an uncomfortable moment involving her own family. Jennifer Smith shared her frustration after a family dinner left her feeling humiliated. She explained to a parenting blog that the people she referred to in her post were her own parents.
During dinner, her 9-month-old son, Ethan, became hungry. Naturally, Jennifer began to nurse him, as any breastfeeding mother would. However, she was met with resistance when her father attempted to throw a cloth napkin over her. “I asked him what he was doing,” she shared, “and he claimed he was trying to cover me up because it was too ‘nice’ of a restaurant.”
Jennifer did not hold back in her response to her father’s suggestion. “I wish I could say I handled it politely, but honestly, I’m glad I didn’t,” she stated. She labeled the gesture “humiliating,” asserting, “No woman should ever feel uncomfortable or immodest while feeding her baby, anywhere.”
She firmly expressed, “Breastfeeding is NOT indecent exposure. It’s not an invitation for anyone to gawk at my breasts. Even if my baby unlatches and someone sees my bare nipple, that’s not an issue.” Jennifer added that the notion that mothers nursing in public are seeking attention is misguided. “Trust me, I’d rather not expose my body in public. But we can’t preach that ‘breast is best’ then shame mothers for feeding their babies publicly.”
Many nursing mothers understand that babies often resist being covered while feeding, leading to the question: Why should they sacrifice their comfort for others? Apparently, her parents believed that consideration should fall on those who might be offended—namely, men who sexualize breastfeeding.
Jennifer’s father has not changed his perspective on public nursing since her post became popular, yet he acknowledges her viewpoint. While he still believes mothers should cover up or find a private area, the hurt from his comments remains. “It’s much more painful when it comes from someone close rather than a stranger,” she confided. “I felt embarrassed that they cared more about others’ comfort than mine or my son’s.”
Her experience resonates with many mothers, including myself, who have faced similar situations. I recall feeling isolated while nursing my child due to my own father’s discomfort with breastfeeding around the family. It led to many lonely moments, including a tearful Christmas Eve spent in solitude. Looking back, I wish I had spoken up as Jennifer did.
I commend mothers like Jennifer for standing up against breastfeeding shaming. The challenges of breastfeeding are already significant without the added pressure from family members. For more insights on starting your journey into parenthood, check out this informative post about couples’ fertility journey. Also, if you’re interested in toilet training tips, this resource is an excellent authority on toilet training. To better understand your options for conception, visit this valuable resource on intrauterine insemination.
In summary, breastfeeding criticism can sting, especially when it comes from family. Jennifer’s bold stand against shaming is a reminder that mothers should feel empowered to nurse wherever and whenever their babies need it.