It’s an undeniable fact that our words carry immense weight, especially when directed at our children. A mere phrase can uplift or diminish, serve as a blessing or a curse, and can even introduce a level of chaos—much like the children themselves. Among the phrases that come out of our mouths, one is notably hazardous yet frequently spoken: “Mm-hmm.” Or its equally treacherous counterpart, “Uh-huh.”
Technically speaking, these aren’t even words but rather sounds indicating that we are 1) listening, 2) engaged, and 3) in agreement with what’s being said. Ironically, we often do not fulfill any of these criteria when we utter them. Yet, we continue to use them because they usually allow us to maintain our peace, making our kids feel heard while we can avoid outright dismissing them.
Consider this familiar scenario:
Me: struggling to balance the budget while focusing on calculations
Son: “Hey Mom, do you remember Matthew from the bus? Not the one who picks his nose, but the one with glasses who has a little sister named Lily? He got a new set of Pokémon cards for his birthday, and guess what? He got a Raichu Break card! But I’d rather have a Rayquaza C Lv. X because it’s super rare. Can I get a pack of Pokémon cards if I do some chores? Or maybe a Pokémon T-shirt like Aaron from Mrs. Johnson’s class? He has this cool one, and I think his mom got it at Target on sale. Can we check next time we go?”
Me: “Mm-hmm.”
Son: “Thanks, Mom! You’re the best!” runs off
In moments like this, the phrase works wonders. We can return to our tasks, and the child feels acknowledged. However, I might have only caught fragments of the conversation—“humping dog,” “Pokémon cards,” “Mrs. Johnson,” and “T-shirts”—but it seems to suffice.
Listening to our children is crucial, and genuine engagement—stopping what we’re doing, maintaining eye contact, and truly hearing them—should be the goal. Yet, kids have an uncanny ability to choose the most inconvenient times to share their thoughts, whether we’re on a call with an insurance agent or trying to meet a deadline. So, we rely on our trusty fallback: “mm-hmm.”
However, using “mm-hmm” can backfire. It’s akin to taking a gamble; it may work often enough to gain our trust, but it can lead to unforeseen complications. Instead of a light-hearted chat about Pokémon cards, the conversation could shift dramatically:
“Hey, Mom, do you remember Grandma’s cat, Whiskers? He was such a great cat! My friend Timmy—no, not the Timmy who can’t say ‘pancakes,’ but the one who always wears a blue cap—he found a cat that looks just like Whiskers, but it’s really skinny and has a crusty eye. His mom said they can’t keep it. Can we help it?”
In this case, “mm-hmm” may grant you a fleeting moment of peace but could also lead to a sickly cat and a moral dilemma regarding the decision to adopt it.
So, fellow parents, tread carefully with the phrase “mm-hmm.” What seems like a simple way to maintain sanity can sometimes create more chaos than it’s worth. For more parenting insights, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking to boost your fertility journey, take a look at this post for helpful supplements. Lastly, for tips on traveling with toddlers, visit this authority for valuable information.
Summary
Words have a profound impact on children, and the phrase “mm-hmm” can be deceptively dangerous. While it may seem harmless and allows parents to multitask, it can lead to misunderstandings and unexpected situations. Genuine listening is essential, but the challenges of parenting often lead to shortcuts that may complicate matters instead.