In the realm of parenting, the term “gifted” often sparks intense conversations and comparisons. My son, Leo, has always been a curious child. As a baby, he preferred listening to stories over crawling or climbing. Now at 3, he can explain the differences between the Jurassic and Triassic periods, knows what great white sharks eat, and has strong opinions about various squid species. He also has a penchant for running around without pants—because, well, he’s 3.
Of course, I think he’s brilliant; every parent sees something special in their child, right? Others have commented on his intelligence, hinting that he might be “advanced.” However, I find myself feeling a bit uneasy about it. The truth is, whether he is “gifted” or not doesn’t really matter.
Yes, I said it. It doesn’t matter if my child is considered “gifted,” and it doesn’t matter if yours are either. Many of us have memories of being categorized into “gifted and talented” programs at school, as if those distinctions determined our futures. In adulthood, it’s clear that those labels often don’t reflect life outcomes. You might find that the so-called “gifted” individuals are living lives quite similar to their peers—some doing remarkable work, others less so. The pressure we placed on these labels doesn’t hold up in the long run.
Research has shown that the idea that “gifted” students perform better among their peers is a myth. Studies indicate that those in gifted programs often score similarly to those who aren’t. Despite significant resources dedicated to these programs, the outcomes aren’t as impressive as we’re led to believe.
So, if I label my child as “gifted,” what does that mean for his future? Will he still need to study for tests in high school to earn good grades? Should I be concerned if he doesn’t get into a prestigious university? I also have a daughter, Mia, who just turned 1. She doesn’t recite the alphabet yet and is currently more interested in dog food and toilet exploration. Maybe she’s gifted, maybe not—she’s just 1!
I believe it’s unfair to treat one child differently from another based on perceived intelligence or “giftedness.” Both Leo and Mia deserve the same opportunities and encouragement, regardless of any labels. If Leo aspires to attend an Ivy League school, we’ll support that dream. If Mia wants to become the best sign-spinner outside an Ashley Furniture store, we’ll cheer her on, too.
The National Association for Gifted Children emphasizes the importance of tailored learning opportunities for every child. Isn’t that essential for all children? Educators and parents should work together to ensure that every child thrives in their unique educational environments. Opportunities for success exist for all children, regardless of their starting point.
I firmly believe that hard work outweighs innate intelligence, and this will be our focus as parents. Instead of praising our children for being “smart,” we’re going to celebrate their effort—“You really worked hard on that!” After all, intelligence can often feel like a matter of luck, so why not applaud the dedication that leads to real achievements?
I hear parents sharing their children’s accomplishments while others worry theirs are falling behind. To both groups, I say: It doesn’t matter. Your concern shows you care, and that makes you a fantastic parent. Your efforts will ensure your kids have every opportunity to flourish.
Every child possesses unique gifts and talents. Instead of distinguishing who is “gifted,” let’s celebrate each child’s individuality. For more insights on parenting and fertility, check out this resource or explore the home insemination kits we discuss in our other posts. And if you’re curious about the recent recall of some infant formula, you can find more information here.
In summary, it’s essential to recognize that every child has their own strengths and talents. The labels of “gifted” or “not gifted” are less important than the encouragement and support we provide them to explore their interests and work hard.