A few days ago, I took my kids to the local community center, opting for comfort over workout gear. I wore jeans and a tank top, fully intending to enjoy a moment of respite rather than exercise. After dropping my boys off in the play area, I indulged in an uninterrupted hour of quiet while I worked on my computer. For that brief time, I was free from the usual demands of parenting. It was blissful.
When I picked them up, I was recharged and ready to embrace them with hugs and kisses. We had plans to hit the pool, but first, we stopped in the bathroom to change into our swimsuits. As my 4-year-old excitedly recounted his adventures in the sandbox, I found myself truly engaged, soaking in every detail of his story. This level of attentiveness isn’t always easy amidst the constant chatter of a preschooler, but my brief escape had rejuvenated my patience and presence.
As a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), I often find myself questioning whether I truly spend enough time with my children. While I relish watching my 4-year-old show off his scooter skills and enjoy pretending to be a dog with my toddler, the moments that truly energize me are those I carve out for myself. I often realize that during the day, I’m multitasking—half-listening to my preschooler while scrolling through messages or cleaning up messes while my kids call for my attention.
Many women choose the SAHM lifestyle to be more present with their children, yet I sometimes wonder if I genuinely am. Yes, I’m physically present, but how much of that time is meaningful? My desire for accomplishment and my need for personal time can sometimes lead to frustration when I’m interrupted while working on a project or when I’m trying to focus on my own interests. It’s easy to feel guilty about wanting time for myself, as though it’s a selfish desire.
However, I cherish the time I do spend with my kids. We engage in imaginative play, build towers of blocks, and have spontaneous dance parties. Yet, there’s only so much time an adult can actively engage in the world of a child. My children, like me, need breaks from constant interaction, and sometimes, we just need to escape the chaos of home life.
Leaving the house can be a double-edged sword; while it offers a change of scenery, it often comes with its own set of challenges—grocery store meltdowns, sticky fingers, and missing shoes. After a chaotic outing, I sometimes find myself thinking that a little separation could actually benefit us all.
I often reflect on how working moms must feel when they are away from their children. Do they appreciate their time together more? Or do they view it as another obligation? I suspect that if I had more opportunities for time apart, I would view it as a chance for joy rather than a burden.
As my 4-year-old prepares to start pre-K soon, I recognize that this time apart might be just what our relationship needs. Ultimately, it’s not just about the quantity of time spent together; the quality of those moments is what truly matters. When a mother nurtures her own well-being, she can better attend to the needs of her family. This balance is essential, and I’m committed to finding time for myself—perhaps by enjoying a gym session in my favorite jeans with my laptop in tow.
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In summary, the time spent with our children is less significant than how we engage with them. A well-rounded life allows mothers to be more attentive, and finding this balance is crucial for both personal fulfillment and family connection.