I am a professional working in Silicon Valley, armed with a master’s degree and nine years of experience at my company, just like my male counterparts. Yet, despite my qualifications, my paycheck tells a different story. It’s often seen as inappropriate to discuss salaries openly, but it’s not against the law. A few male colleagues and I have compared notes, revealing that, like many American women, I earn about 77 cents for every dollar my male colleagues make.
As a single mother of four, I face the high cost of living in the Bay Area. My company brought me here, but I was blindsided by the expense of maintaining a comfortable lifestyle. To bridge the pay gap, I took on a part-time job with a sports company I discovered during a running event. While I enjoy this job and the sense of community it brings, it also pulls me away from my children. I wouldn’t need to juggle two jobs if I were compensated fairly by my main employer.
When I first joined the company, I was thankful to transition from retail to a stable 9-to-5 job. This meant more time at home with my kids and a more predictable lifestyle. I was so grateful for the opportunity that I neglected to consider my worth when accepting the salary they offered.
Two years later, during my promotion, my boss explicitly told me not to negotiate my salary. I accepted the offer without question, feeling that I would be ungrateful to ask for more. Fast forward three years, and I finally asked for equal pay. I almost apologized for my request, as if I was inconveniencing my superiors by bringing up such a delicate subject. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t asking for a raise; I was merely seeking parity with my peers.
Despite knowing my value, guilt consumes me for advocating for equal compensation. My work is commendable and crucial, yet it often takes me away from my children. On the day I asked for a raise, I had to miss half of my child’s school concert to attend a meeting. I spent 45 minutes in a meeting that had nothing to do with my work, only to deliver a brief update right when my son was performing. Each minute spent in that meeting felt like a loss, chipping away at the time I could have spent with him.
Like many working parents, I often have to leave after-school activities to make it to the office. I even worked on my laptop during my son’s baseball game. Afterward, I rushed to grab fast food for dinner, only to return home late, expecting my eldest to oversee the younger ones. I continued working late into the night, and when I finally made it to the gym for a run, I found myself crying in the locker room, overwhelmed by the distance from my children.
I do have accrued paid time off, but I hesitate to use it for every school event. I find myself questioning which moments are worth taking off for and whether my colleagues will judge me for it. I’ve always believed that demonstrating my dedication as both a woman and a mother would lead to fair compensation. However, despite my efforts and sacrifices, the pay gap remains.
I am worth the full dollar that my colleagues earn. My contributions are significant and recognized; my most recent feedback praised my work as the best they’ve seen.
My children deserve a mother who can be fully present. I long for the day when I can focus on one job, achieving that fair 100% compensation without the need for a second job. Perhaps that would allow me to reclaim my time and my life.
I need to take a deep breath and maybe go for a run.
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Summary:
In the pursuit of equal pay, a dedicated mother of four navigates the challenges of the corporate world, realizing the emotional toll of being undervalued. Despite her achievements and contributions, she grapples with the pay gap and the balance between work and family life.