Each day begins with lofty ambitions to tackle my ever-growing to-do list, yet by the end, I find myself drained and reflecting on all that remains unfinished. Despite my best intentions and motivation, there simply never seem to be enough hours in a day to accomplish everything that demands my attention.
As I scroll through my social media feeds, I’m bombarded by so-called “experts” proclaiming that if I have time to browse Facebook, snack, or indulge in some personal downtime, then surely I can squeeze in a gym session, practice mindfulness, or improve my life in some way. Their mantra, “no excuses,” is ubiquitous as they flaunt their sculpted abs, boast of juggling five kids while earning a degree, working 80-hour weeks, volunteering, or running a successful side hustle—all while looking flawless. If they can manage it all, why can’t I? After all, they remind us, we all have the same 24 hours in a day as the likes of Beyoncé!
While it’s true that theoretically, I could occupy every minute of my day being productive, I can’t help but wonder where “doing what I want” fits into this narrative. What about those moments of relaxation?
Sure, I might technically have time, but time alone isn’t enough. It’s like trying to bake a cake with just flour and sugar; you need that essential ingredient: desire. You have to genuinely enjoy what you’re doing. If I’ve already spent the day tackling responsibilities, you better believe I’m going to “waste” a few precious moments indulging in something that brings me joy—even if that something is simply doing nothing.
There’s a reason people offer excuses for not pursuing certain endeavors: they’re challenging. Achieving remarkable results demands consistent effort, and sometimes we’re too worn down by our personal circumstances to muster the energy for additional challenges. It’s not merely about hours in the day; it’s about the emotional and physical toll of our existing responsibilities. The fear of trying and failing can be more damaging than not trying at all.
Well-meaning motivation from others can sometimes backfire, leaving me feeling inadequate and as if I’m squandering my potential. This doesn’t help anyone. My mental health and emotional well-being are crucial, not just for me, but for my family too. If that means forgoing hours at the gym or dedicating every evening to a side project, then so be it. The guilt that often accompanies motherhood is already heavy enough without adding another voice suggesting that I’m lazy or unmotivated.
Even if I were to engage in those activities, I’d likely find another reason to feel unaccomplished. That hour spent working on fitness could have been used reading to my kids, or I might think about how that time could have gone toward mopping the neglected kitchen floor. If I’m going to feel guilty regardless of how I spend my time, I’d prefer to choose the activity that brings me joy—be it scrolling through social media or achieving a fitness goal.
I’m not saying I would never pursue extraordinary achievements; rather, it has to be something that resonates personally with me—not something dictated by someone else’s expectations just because they succeeded.
No one has time for that.
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In summary, it’s essential for moms to prioritize their well-being and choose how they spend their time based on personal fulfillment rather than external pressures. The focus should be on what truly matters to them, rather than conforming to societal expectations or the achievements of others.