I never anticipated the overwhelming flood of emotions that comes with motherhood. From the moment that test revealed that joyful plus sign, I was hit with a whirlwind of feelings. Anticipation, fatigue, anxiety, fear, relief, and joy—those were just the emotions I experienced before my baby even arrived. And then came the love—the kind of love that takes you by surprise, fills your heart, and somehow fuels your perseverance through sleepless nights, tantrums, and interminable mealtime dramas. That love is a constant presence, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
But along with that love, there’s another significant emotion we often overlook: fatigue. I had never truly understood what profound fatigue felt like until recently, and when I finally recognized it, it blindsided me because my love for motherhood runs deep. I would go to great lengths for my children; they are the realization of all my dreams, and I cherish them daily.
Yet, as the fog surrounding my second baby began to lift, I sensed an unsettling weight. A cloud loomed over me, dimming my joy and hindering my ability to fulfill my role as a mother. It wasn’t merely physical exhaustion—though that was undoubtedly present. It was something more profound and disheartening.
This fatigue stems from the countless little sacrifices we make for our kids. The moments we willingly overlook, like a dinner left cold while we navigate bedtime, or the conversations interrupted as we chase after a toddler. The last date night is a distant memory, and the last cookie is never truly ours.
It also arises from the repetitive nature of parenting. The unending discussions about why shoes are necessary, or why chocolate isn’t an acceptable breakfast option. The minor yet monumental decisions we face a hundred times a day, along with the questions we must provide answers to: “Can I use the iPad?” “May I have a cookie?” “Where did my shoes go?” “What’s for dinner?”
Parenting encompasses a relentless physical and emotional journey, 24/7. It’s the bending, lifting, negotiating, comforting, reprimanding, praising, cooking, diaper changing, laundry, planning, and the constant vigilance over the tremendous responsibility we bear. Who entrusted me with these little lives? Sometimes, I want to shout at the treadmill, “Stop! I need to get off! Just for a moment to catch my breath!”
These feelings are undeniably significant. When they become overwhelming, it’s clear that we can no longer perform our roles effectively. It’s time to recognize it for what it truly is: parenting fatigue.
Compounding this fatigue is the guilt that often accompanies motherhood. Who am I to feel weary in the face of so much joy? My children are healthy, and I am well. Others manage far more with less. I prayed for my children, and my wishes were granted when so many others are still waiting. My little ones rely on me now, and soon enough, they won’t need me in the same way. My heart is full, and I should cherish this moment.
While all of this is painfully true, playing it on a loop only deepens the fatigue.
This year has taught me an essential lesson: sometimes, we must grant ourselves permission to hit the reset button. Nobody will label me a bad mother for taking a break. As much as I adore my “day job” as a mother, variety is crucial for a more fulfilled life.
So, when the weight of fatigue threatened to overwhelm me, I took a moment to create a list of things I wanted to do for myself over the next year. Ultimately, I simplified it to one goal: to start this blog (which has proven to be a tremendous outlet). Others might choose to train for a marathon, explore pottery, take cooking classes, learn a new language, or even start painting.
Focusing on one personal goal helped me find my way back to reset. I began prioritizing a small window of time for myself every few days and sought assistance. This was incredibly liberating.
Of course, not every day is easy. There are still challenges, and I often find myself yearning for a glass of wine at the end of the day. However, once I accepted the depth of my exhaustion and the feeling of being solely a mother, the fatigue began to lessen. Letting go of the guilt associated with those feelings rejuvenated my energy. When I found a pursuit for myself, I rediscovered my enthusiasm for motherhood. I can take pride in my role as a mom once again— and that pride is a significant feeling too.
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Summary
Motherhood is a blend of overwhelming emotions, including joy, love, and fatigue. Recognizing parenting fatigue is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance. By allowing ourselves the grace to recharge and pursue personal interests, we can rekindle our enthusiasm and pride in our roles as mothers.