I’ve been fortunate with my younger child. He’s relaxed, incredibly affectionate, and calms down easily. In contrast, my older son was a whirlwind from the moment he arrived, making my younger child’s temperament a welcome change. I thought I had successfully bypassed the notorious terrible twos with him. Even as he hit age three, things were manageable. However, as he approaches three and three-quarters, something has shifted dramatically. The intensity of his threenager behavior has skyrocketed, and honestly, I just want to shake his indignant little self. He has opinions on every aspect of his life, screams over the smallest inconveniences, and shows no signs of backing down.
It’s not just a few specific grievances; it feels like he has a comprehensive list of demands. And honestly? He needs to calm down about it all. Here are some of the things currently on his list. I know he’s only three, but some of these matters shouldn’t hold as much weight in his world as they do.
- Candy
I understand the allure. It’s colorful, sweet, and addictive. But starting the candy requests at 6 a.m. and continuing to beg until I relent with one tiny piece after dinner is more than I can handle. - His Private Parts
Once boys discover their anatomy, it becomes their favorite toy. Yesterday, he wore underwear (a rarity) but found a way to play with himself through the opening. When I asked him to put it away, he replied, “But it’s just so beautiful, Mommy.” You can’t write this stuff. - “Helping”
My son genuinely wants to assist with chores, which usually means spraying soap everywhere, leaving me with a more significant mess to clean up than I started with. Thanks for the “help,” kiddo. - Nugget Preparation
Just the other day, I didn’t cut his chicken nuggets into smaller pieces, and chaos ensued. The next day, I did cut them, only for him to throw an even bigger tantrum. I can’t win! - Toy Unboxing Videos
First, it was those unsettling “Surprise Egg” videos; now, he’s onto those annoying channels where people unbox toys with high-pitched voices. No, thank you. - His Brother’s Possessions
If his older brother shows interest in something, it’s an immediate “I want that!” scenario. If big brother has marbles, my younger son demands them, even if he has no interest in playing. If he doesn’t get it, he’ll lie on the floor crying for ages. - Selectively Picky Eating
My younger son was supposed to be the adventurous eater, but he’s recently decided that only bread and cereal are acceptable. Tonight, he requested pita chips for dinner, and when I said that wasn’t enough, he confidently claimed, “Pita chips can be dinner in your imagination.” - Post-Potty Hygiene
My newly potty-trained child is meticulous about cleanliness after using the toilet. He insists on using three squares of toilet paper followed by a baby wipe. Why? Don’t ask. As for number two, I might be wiping his bottom until he’s in college. - Food Separation
For the rare occasions he eats something other than pita chips, the fear of food touching is real. If two different items are on the same plate, you’d think the world was ending! - Shopkins
At first, I thought, “What are these tiny plastic things?” Yet, they’ve grown on me because they’re cute and fun to collect. However, if I hear “What’s this one called?” one more time, I might lose my mind. - Wetness Sensitivity
Is my child the only one who can’t handle wetness? He complains about toast being “too wet,” and despite loving yogurt, it has now also become “too wet.” Yet, he loves splashing water everywhere when it’s time to wash his hands. - Clothing Dilemma
To my son, clothes are a conspiracy against his freedom. He only wears them outside or when guests are present. Once he gets home, off they come. Just the other day, he panicked, exclaiming, “Oh no! I left my clothes on by accident!”
Despite the chaos, he is one of the funniest threenagers I’ve encountered. I’m hopeful this is just a phase, as I recognize the importance of asserting one’s viewpoint during this developmental stage. Still, I wish it weren’t all happening at once, and I wish it weren’t so loud!
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of parenting a threenager can be overwhelming. From candy cravings to picky eating and the insistence on personal freedom, every day brings new trials. While it’s essential to understand these phases are normal developmental milestones, the incessant nature of their demands can test any parent’s patience.