Every woman deserves the autonomy to choose whether or not to devote her life, or her body, to carrying another person. Whether it’s the 35-year-old woman who opts out of motherhood, the 15-year-old faced with a lack of access to protection, or the 23-year-old unwilling to be tied down by a casual relationship, they all deserve the right to assert control over their own bodies, regardless of the circumstances.
This belief has been a cornerstone of my values since I first engaged in discussions about reproductive rights. When I expressed my pro-choice stance among those who disagreed, the responses were predictable: “You’ll change your mind once you have kids” or “You’re still young.” As someone who generally avoids confrontation, I rarely felt compelled to defend my views more passionately.
When I found out I was pregnant, the embryo inside me was no bigger than a poppy seed. It wouldn’t be classified as a “fetus” for another month, and had I chosen not to continue the pregnancy, I would have faced a barrage of political opinions and judgments. Yes, those cells are alive, but so are the cells on my skin; no one protests when I exfoliate.
Now, as a mother to a cherished child, I can confidently say that my perspective has evolved. I do feel differently—I feel empowered to articulate my pro-choice beliefs even more strongly, bolstered by my experiences.
The Reality of Pregnancy
For one, I didn’t instantly fall in love with my baby upon seeing that second line on the test. My husband and I diligently prepared for this new chapter, reading books, consulting with doctors, and gathering insights from experienced parents. I often heard that my maternal instincts would kick in once I became pregnant, but that notion didn’t universally apply.
While I adored the prospect of starting a family and embraced the challenges ahead, the reality of pregnancy felt abstract at first. What I experienced instead were endless bouts of nausea and fatigue—sacrifices I willingly made to eventually meet my little one. These challenges led me to a stark realization: I wouldn’t have endured this if I hadn’t genuinely wanted a baby.
My career took a hit. Friendships faded. My health, finances, and overall well-being were challenged. To soothe my worries, I would remind myself of the positives: the baby was planned, the father was my loving partner, and I faced no serious complications. But this exercise only emphasized that, without those advantages, I might have made a different choice. I could rationally justify my decision to carry this pregnancy to term, but I recognized the complexities of being pro-choice.
The Fragility of Pregnancy
Pregnancy comes with a certain fragility, especially in those early weeks. My husband and I shared our joyful news when I was merely six weeks along, rather than waiting until the miscarriage risk diminished around twelve weeks. While many of our loved ones celebrated with us, some urged us to temper our excitement. It was sobering to realize how divided public opinion can be—some would criticize a woman for choosing abortion, yet others seemed uncomfortable with celebrating life too early.
When I believed I was having a miscarriage at eight weeks, I was overwhelmed with grief for the family I thought I was losing. As a pro-choice woman, I grappled with the right to mourn my embryo, while knowing others might view it solely as a medical issue. Fortunately, I welcomed a healthy baby seven months later, so I never had to navigate that emotional turmoil beyond contemplation.
Understanding Pro-Choice
Being pro-choice doesn’t equate to being pro-abortion; it means advocating for women’s rights to make their own decisions about pregnancy and not facing harassment for those choices. It also encompasses the right to celebrate a wanted pregnancy or to grieve a loss, regardless of the timeline of legality or risk.
Now that my son is a flourishing five-month-old, my pro-choice beliefs remain steadfast. The joy of motherhood doesn’t shift my views on personhood at the moment of implantation. I’m thankful for the opportunity to decide when to expand our family, making this experience a true blessing for both me and my husband.
Resources for Further Exploration
For those interested in exploring the journey of home insemination, check out this resource. If you’re facing challenges like PCOS, these insights may provide valuable guidance. Additionally, Kindbody’s blog is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination information.
Conclusion
In summary, my pregnancy has not only solidified my pro-choice beliefs but has also deepened my understanding of the complexities surrounding motherhood and autonomy. Whether choosing to carry a pregnancy to term or deciding against it, women deserve the right to make choices that align with their lives and circumstances.