Lifestyle
How to Support the Moms in Your Life
By Jessica Taylor
Updated: Aug. 17, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 17, 2023
Why do mothers require friends? Surely, they have children, partners, and society often elevates them to a pedestal. However, there are numerous misconceptions surrounding motherhood and parenting. Despite appearances, moms are human beings with feelings and needs. Occasionally, they crave friendship and support. Are you ready to take on this important role? Here are some thoughtful ways to be a friend to the mothers in your life:
Reach Out to Your Mom Friends
When a child arrives, the focus often shifts entirely to them, leaving moms feeling isolated. Every so often, they appreciate hearing, “How are you doing?” Instead of inquiring about their kids, consider calling or texting to suggest a night out for wine—not a playdate—or an invitation to a movie. Moms are individuals too and need reminders of their identity beyond motherhood.
Offer Specific Help
It took me a while to recognize that I couldn’t do it all alone as a mother. Fortunately, I have a support system I can lean on, and I’ve learned to ask for assistance when necessary. However, I often find myself unsure about what’s appropriate to request. If you’re extending help to a mom, be clear about your offer. For instance, if you’re willing to babysit for a date night, specify that so she doesn’t spend time worrying about whether it’s alright to ask.
Wait for Her to Ask for Advice
I’ve often felt the urge to offer advice to a fellow mom in need, but I’m grateful I held back. I’ve learned that each mother knows her child’s unique circumstances. Unless she explicitly requests guidance, trust that she’s navigating her challenges in her own way.
Acknowledge Her Efforts
In today’s digital age, expressing appreciation is easier than ever. When a mom shares a picture of her child achieving something great, remind her of her role in nurturing such a wonderful human. If a playdate goes smoothly, let her know how impressive her child is and commend her parenting. Kids don’t become extraordinary on their own; they reflect their mom’s dedication.
Compliment Her in the Moment
I vividly remember my first outing with my newborn daughter. It was a brief trip to Target, and when she started crying, another mother reassured me, “You’re doing fine.” That moment of support meant the world. If you witness a mom managing a tantrum or a moody teenager, offer her kind words. Recognizing her hard work in the thick of the chaos can make a significant difference.
Avoid Judgment
Moms are often their own harshest critics. Daily, they question their parenting decisions. Instead of passing judgment, consider sending positive energy her way or simply asking how you can support her.
Show Understanding
When I became a mom, I underestimated the exhaustion that would accompany it. Balancing work and motherhood can be overwhelming. If a mom can’t chat when you call or declines an invitation, approach her situation with kindness and empathy.
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In summary, being a supportive friend to mothers involves reaching out, offering specific help, waiting for requests for advice, acknowledging their efforts, avoiding judgment, and showing understanding. These actions can make a significant difference in their lives.