Navigating the toddler years can feel like a relentless adventure, and as a parent of three, I can attest to that. I’ve often come across lists of parenting tips that seem overly simplistic or unrealistic, which only left me feeling more overwhelmed. So, I decided to compile my own collection of genuine toddler tips that reflect the reality of parenting during these tumultuous years. Here’s the unfiltered truth about surviving toddlerhood.
- When lounging on the couch, make sure to shield your eyes, groin, face, hair, and chest. Toddlers have a surprising grip strength.
- The ideal moment for a game of peekaboo is during a particularly messy diaper change. It’s a great distraction to keep them from getting curious.
- If your toddler consumes dirt, you can technically skip their next meal.
- Forget about keeping shoes on them; it’s as futile as trying to keep shoes on a cat. Put them on in the morning for your own peace of mind, and the rest of the day is anyone’s guess.
- A single popsicle will entertain a toddler for approximately three minutes. Stock up on them, and you might just manage to load the dishwasher without interruptions.
- Remember, your toddler is now in charge. You can attempt to redirect their behavior, but ultimately, you are their servant. Keeping this in mind can help ease your feelings of inadequacy during outings.
- Daily baths are not mandatory. Sometimes a simple wipe down suffices. Parents who bathe their kids every single day clearly have a lot of time on their hands.
- There’s no law against calling a toddler an annoying little rascal. Trust me on this.
- If you happen upon a long-lost sippy cup, don’t even think about opening it. Just toss it; it’s not worth the risk.
- Poop does not easily flush down a tub drain. A spatula can help lift it out, but best to dispose of that spatula afterward.
- Occasionally, it feels good to give your toddler the silent treatment when their back is turned.
- Don’t stress about your toddler’s appearance. Sometimes, just keeping their pants on is a victory.
- The shame of using a crayon instead of a pen pales in comparison to the struggle of finding a pen while wrangling a toddler.
- A great way to unwind is to lie on the floor and allow your toddler to climb on you. Just remember to protect yourself as noted in tip one.
- Avoid buying toddler clothes with buttons. Designers of such clothing either don’t have kids or are professional wrestlers.
- If you splurge on an extravagant birthday present, prepare for the likelihood that your toddler will prefer playing with the box it came in.
- Engaging in arguments with a toddler is a surefire path to defeat.
- Swimming can count as a bath.
- Once your toddler figures out how to lock doors, always keep keys handy. They have no regard for your anxiety.
- If candy drops on the floor, let them have it. It’s easier to convince yourself that the dirt makes it organic.
- If a toddler insists on drinking from an open cup, make sure it’s water and keep all electronics out of reach. A toddler with a cup is like a scene from Titanic.
- Don’t waste your time cleaning the toddler’s car seat. It’s a losing battle. Wait until they outgrow it and then dispose of it creatively.
- They will never tire themselves out. That’s a myth. Toddlers are the embodiment of perpetual energy.
- If you put your toddler to bed late, expect them to rise two hours earlier than normal.
- Stock up on Spray ‘n Wash, because you’ll need it by the case!
While there are undoubtedly more tips and tricks out there, this list should give you a solid starting point. If you have any pearls of wisdom to share, feel free to add your insights in the comments. Remember, it truly takes a village to raise a child.
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In summary, parenting toddlers can be chaotic and challenging, but with the right mindset and a sense of humor, you can navigate these years with a bit more ease. From understanding your toddler’s whims to managing daily chaos, these honest tips can help you survive the toddler phase.