One sunny day at the beach, my adventurous 3-year-old darted away from us just long enough to hop onto the lounge chair of a complete stranger. Without hesitation, she reached out to touch the woman’s bare toes and declared, “Tickle, tickle, tickle!” Then, she flashed a big grin, giggled, and scampered off.
I was mortified. While kids are generally aware that they shouldn’t engage with strangers, my youngest daughter took it to another level by tickling one. Luckily, the woman just laughed and said, “Wow! She’s quite the character!” And she truly is.
Sometimes I find myself questioning how this bold, outgoing child can possibly be mine. If you’re like me—a mostly reserved individual raising a child who introduces herself to strangers in the women’s locker room at the gym, loudly announces at preschool pickup that “Tommy and his dad are boys, so they both have penises,” and charges through life without fear or restraint—you understand how exhausting it can be. Some days, I relish the thrill of living life with her, while on others, it feels overwhelming. Her endless need for interaction drains me both mentally and physically. I’ve always required solitary time to recharge, but my energetic preschooler craves movement, dialogue, and adventure. I’m beginning to see just how much her extroverted nature impacts my well-being. Since her arrival, I’ve found myself gaining weight, noticing more gray hairs, and experiencing a level of anxiety I never knew before.
Let’s just say, she’s a handful.
After one especially exhausting day, I trudged upstairs to tackle the nightly bedtime routine. By hour 13 with my spirited 3-year-old and her twin siblings, I would have given anything for a moment of solitude. The kids could sense my tension; my frayed nerves only fueled their last burst of chaos before bedtime.
Finally, the twins and I settled down to read a book, but a gleeful shriek from the laundry room signaled that my youngest was up to mischief again. “Get out of the laundry room!” I yelled, too weary to chase her down.
No response. I began reading to the twins when suddenly, I heard a loud thud. She cried out instantly. My first thought, in what was certainly not my finest parenting moment, was, “For Pete’s sake! I told her to stay out of there!” Guilt washed over me as I rushed to see if she was okay.
She had fallen off the spare bed in the laundry room and hit her head on the hardwood floor. A bump began to form almost immediately, stretching her skin in a way that seemed impossible. Off to the ER we went, and just like that, my wish for a peaceful moment vanished.
As we parked at the hospital, the bright lights and unfamiliar surroundings gave me a headache, yet my daughter seemed invigorated. She charmed everyone from nurses to fellow patients, chatting about everything from dogs to her favorite show, Daniel Tiger.
Finally, at nearly 11 p.m., the doctor entered our room, looking hurried and disheveled. He was a burly man with a thick beard. My daughter, usually so outspoken, stared at him in silence. “This is the doctor, sweetie,” I said. “He just needs to check your head.”
Her brow furrowed as she skeptically assessed him. “This guy is a doctor?” she asked, her surprise evident.
Oh, dear. I felt a flush of embarrassment. In her mind, a doctor looked like our petite, fair-haired pediatrician. Fortunately, the doctor laughed it off, and soon, my daughter joined in with a giggle and even sang a little song. After confirming she was fine, we were released.
Walking outside, I told her how proud I was of her for being brave. Here was this little human, who should have been snug in bed, still cheerful and buzzing with excitement.
Our extroverted children, with their exuberance and fearlessness, can teach us valuable lessons about living fully in the moment. Yes, there are risks, and sometimes we may stumble, but that’s part of the vibrant life they embrace. So, in spite of the gray hairs, high blood pressure, and frayed nerves, I’m grateful to my daughter for encouraging me to let go. I also hope to instill in her the importance of balancing her enthusiasm with discernment and authenticity.
I glanced at her in the rearview mirror and said, “I’m so glad you’re my girl.” She beamed back at me and replied, “I’m glad you’re my girl too, Mommy.” In that moment, I felt a warmth and joy I hadn’t expected. She may be a whirlwind of energy who pushes me beyond my comfort zone, but what truly matters is that we belong to each other. Together, we navigated the darkness toward the welcoming glow of home.
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Summary
In this piece, a reserved parent reflects on the lessons learned from her exuberant, extroverted child. Through humorous anecdotes and challenging moments, she explores the balance between her introverted nature and her daughter’s fearless approach to life, ultimately finding joy and growth in their relationship.