We found ourselves in a bustling doctor’s office waiting room, sharing a space near the fish tank when a girl, around the same age as my eldest daughter, approached us, accompanied by her mother. Within moments, the girl leaned in toward my toddler, attempting to initiate a hug, a common behavior among young children.
As is my habit, I quickly intervened, gently guiding the girl away from my daughter and relocating my little one to a safer distance. “Please remember to respect her personal space,” I said with a polite smile. The child seemed unfazed; after all, children often act on instinct. Fortunately, her mother appeared to understand the situation and didn’t make a fuss. However, she did comment, “She just wants to show love.”
I completely understand that children are naturally affectionate and often disregard social norms and boundaries. In theory, this openness is heartwarming. Yet, the reality is far more complex.
Health Considerations
Firstly, there are health considerations, especially in a doctor’s office, which is notorious for germs. I prefer that my kids minimize contact with others in such environments, as I wouldn’t want them catching anything nasty.
The Importance of Consent
But the issue of consent runs deeper than just germs. It’s essential that we begin teaching children about consent even before they can articulate full sentences. As a mother of three girls, this is a vital lesson that I take seriously.
Even though my toddler may not be able to voice her discomfort, she still deserves respect regarding her personal space. She is not obliged to accept hugs, cuddles, or any form of physical contact—especially from strangers—simply because she appears small and cute.
This principle applies even within the family. My older daughter enjoys playing with her younger sister, but I still intervene whenever necessary. Being siblings does not give them the right to encroach on each other’s personal space without consent.
Affection in Context
It’s important to clarify that we are a family that expresses affection openly. We share plenty of hugs, cuddles, and kisses. However, the focus is on fostering an understanding of the appropriate context for such displays. If someone approaches my toddler for a hug and she seems uncomfortable, it’s crucial to respect that boundary. Conversely, if she willingly gives a hug after being asked, that’s a different scenario altogether.
Through these lessons, my children learn that hugs and kisses are not something to take from others without their permission. They also understand that they do not have to accept unwanted attention, even if it’s framed as an expression of love. True affection is rooted in respect.
Empowering Children
So, don’t be surprised if I step in to stop your child from hugging my toddler or gently guide their hands away from my baby. If my six-year-old decides to hug your child goodbye and the embrace becomes too tight (as kids can do), I will intervene to remind them both that affection should be respectful.
I never want my children to feel obligated to endure uncomfortable situations just to be polite, nor do I want them to place others in such predicaments. If my girls—and every other child—grow up learning to honor their own feelings and bodies by demanding the respect they deserve, while also being mindful to respect others, then we will have succeeded.
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Conclusion
In summary, it is crucial to teach children about consent and respect for personal boundaries, whether they are interacting with peers or family. We must ensure that they feel empowered to express their comfort levels and understand the importance of respecting others’ spaces as well.