When my daughter was born, it felt as if I was reliving a familiar story. From day one, I recognized traits in her that mirrored my own, and I was thrilled to discover her love for the color pink just like mine. I’ve passed on my nose and stubbornness to her, while she has a quick wit that keeps me laughing. Most days, it feels like I’m watching my own childhood unfold again. The similarities between us have made parenting her feel like a nostalgic journey through my past.
We’ve enjoyed reading my favorite childhood books together, I’ve watched her play dress-up in my closet just as I did in my mother’s, and we’ve hosted countless rainy-day tea parties. However, as she approaches her teenage years, I’ve come to realize there are several critical aspects I’ve either forgotten or deliberately repressed about being a teenage girl. She’s surprisingly similar to how I was at her age, when I sported acid-wash jeans, braces, and hair that defied gravity.
1. Teenage Girls Spend an Incredible Amount of Time in the Bathroom.
At the age of 12, I remember my brothers banging on the bathroom door, threatening to break it down as I took my time in the shower. I had completely blocked out those bathroom skirmishes until I caught my son sitting with his back against the door, engrossed in a book. When I asked what he was doing, he simply replied, “I stopped knocking ten minutes ago. She’ll emerge when she’s ready.” I wish my brothers had shown that kind of patience!
2. Teenage Girls Rely on Their Moms to Learn How to Shave.
Having dealt with leg hair for decades, I forgot that mastering hair removal without injury is a skill. When I noticed my daughter’s underarm hair, I suggested she consider shaving. Her eyes widened in shock as she exclaimed, “With a razor? I can’t even use knives by myself!” I recalled my own awkward attempts at shaving, balancing on the tub and nicking myself as my mom provided instruction — no wonder I took so long in there!
3. Teenage Girls Can’t Stop Talking.
As a teenager, I spent hours chatting with my friends, although I can’t recall a single detail of those conversations. I was so chatty that my parents installed a second line in our home for emergencies. I had a pink princess phone, but my daughter has FaceTime. She spends hours on video calls, chatting with friends about outfits and everything in between. She talks to me and my partner constantly, and I can almost hear my mother chuckling over it.
4. Teenage Girls Worry About Their Periods.
I vividly remember reading Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret and thinking that menstruation was the worst fate for teens. I was anxious about bleeding, ruining clothes, and — horrors — boys finding out. The very thought of tampons was nerve-wracking. My daughter shares those fears and recently mistook tampons for teepees, leading to a tearful misunderstanding until I clarified. She was relieved to know she didn’t have to insert a Native American shelter!
5. Teenage Girls Cry Over Everything.
Watching my daughter tear up over tangled shoelaces brings back memories of my own teenage angst. The feelings of injustice, hot tears, and simmering rage are all too familiar when she loses it over her hair not cooperating. And when the drama escalates into stomping and door slamming, I’m reminded of the patience my mother had with me.
These realizations are just the beginning. I anticipate many more memories will resurface as she navigates the challenges of adolescence. I’ll be reminded of my first crush, the struggle of learning to parallel park, and a myriad of other teenage experiences I thought I had forgotten. As she blossoms into a remarkable young woman, I can’t help but feel excited about the friendship we’re building. Just don’t tell her that—I can already picture her rolling her eyes.
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Summary
Navigating the teenage years with my daughter has reignited memories from my own adolescence. From bathroom battles to lessons in grooming, the similarities are striking. As she faces the emotional ups and downs of being a teen, I find myself both nostalgic and thrilled to share this journey with her.