My son, Alex, was just 14 when he revealed his true self to our family and friends. While I had suspected it for a while, the moment was still significant. We often engage in conversations about the unique challenges the LGBTQ+ community faces in our society. We’ve attended pride events together, and I’ll never forget the joy on Alex’s face when marriage equality was established.
Being a proud parent of a gay teen means being prepared for the well-meaning but often misguided comments that can come from those unfamiliar with the experience. Whether you’re a parent of a gay teen, have a suspicion about your child’s orientation, or know someone who does, here are some common phrases to avoid.
“How can they know for sure at such a young age?”
This is perhaps the most frequent and frustrating question I encounter. Reflect on your own youth—many people experience their first crush long before reaching their teenage years. No one questioned your feelings for the opposite sex, yet many assume that a gay teen must still be figuring things out. Encouraging acceptance instead of doubt is crucial. When asking young children about their romantic interests, consider phrasing it as “Do you have a crush?” rather than specifying gender.
“Are you sure it’s just a phase?”
Honestly, does it matter? Regardless of whom our children choose to love, what’s essential is that they develop healthy and supportive relationships. If they explore different orientations or identities, let’s celebrate their journey toward love and happiness. We should aspire for a generation that embraces love without the constraints of societal expectations.
“Aren’t you worried they might contract AIDS?”
This is a concern for all parents, irrespective of their child’s orientation. STDs can affect anyone, and it’s vital to provide comprehensive education on safe practices. Instead of fearing the worst, let’s empower our children with knowledge and resources, such as safe sex supplies readily available at home. For additional insights, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
“At least you won’t have to worry about unexpected grandkids.”
While this may seem like a silver lining, it pales in comparison to the real issues our LGBTQ+ children face. Despite the growing acceptance of diverse identities, many still encounter discrimination and hostility. My son often presents in a more androgynous manner, and while we joke about people misidentifying him, the reality is that safety and acceptance are far more pressing concerns than unplanned parenthood.
“Do you think they’ll lead a ‘normal’ life someday?”
As a parent in my 40s, I understand that the definition of a “normal” life is evolving. Many young people today, regardless of orientation, are redefining success and fulfillment outside traditional norms. My hope for Alex and his peers is that they find careers that ignite their passions and relationships that nurture their souls, rather than conforming to outdated societal expectations.
Ultimately, that’s what every parent wishes for their child—a life filled with love, joy, and compassion.
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