“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…” Who would have guessed that the character I resonate with isn’t a princess locked away but rather a forgetful blue fish? As a mother of a child on the autism spectrum, I often feel like I’m battling against a relentless current.
Support services for children like my son don’t always come easily, and securing the right help can be a daily challenge. Our family dynamic is anything but conventional, and we frequently face disapproving looks from others. This can create a significant amount of pressure. I’ll admit, there are moments when it feels overwhelming, and I wish for the strength to keep fighting for my child’s needs.
Ironically, it’s often the simple, everyday tasks that threaten to pull me under — like doing the dishes.
Last night, I stepped into the kitchen and was greeted by a mountain of dirty plates and cups. My initial reaction was one of defeat. I slammed the door in frustration and sulked off to bed. However, this morning, when I opened the kitchen door, I realized that the pile wasn’t nearly as daunting as I had imagined. My pessimism had clouded my perspective.
What I should have done was embrace the chaos and say, “So what?” There’s a certain liberation in going with the flow. I’ve come to understand that there’s often a silver lining, even amidst the mess.
So what if I leave the dishes until later? In the grand scheme, it’s not a big deal. Perhaps my husband will finally buy that dishwasher I’ve been eyeing if the dishes start piling up.
So what if I’m not part of the millions enjoying Sunday night television? I can always catch up later and skip the ads, which is a win in my book.
So what if I shower at odd hours because my mornings are spent preparing my son for school? I’ve never been a morning person anyway.
So what if my husband and I have to schedule afternoon dates? We often find great midweek deals at our local pub, making it an enjoyable outing.
So what if we alternate family gatherings because large crowds can be overwhelming? That means quality time with our daughters and a peaceful evening for the one staying home.
So what if our vacations are often the same each year? Consistency brings comfort, and we avoid any unwelcome surprises.
So what if I prefer comfortable shoes over heels? They’re practical for chasing after a child or dodging flying remotes.
So what if I have to be home by a certain time because my son worries about me? As I’ve gotten older, I appreciate the early nights.
So what if I had to leave my job? It opened the door for new opportunities, like connecting with all of you through this blog.
So what if my son prefers texting to face-to-face conversations? Those texts are precious keepsakes that I can cherish and potentially use to tease him later.
So what if I spend a good portion of my day filling out forms to advocate for my son? It’s empowering and makes me a stronger advocate.
So what if my son has specific sock preferences due to sensory sensitivities? When we find a pair he likes, we buy several, saving time on futile searches.
So what if we’ve watched “Harry Potter” countless times? At least I’m well-prepared for any Dementor encounters!
So what if my son attends a special education school? That’s where he thrives, feels accepted, and most importantly, happy.
So what if some friendships fade due to our busy schedule? I value true friendships over superficial ones.
So what if we’re not a “typical” family? Normal is overrated, and social media often presents a distorted view of reality.
So what if my son is autistic? He remains my unique and wonderful child. The diagnosis may have been a surprise, but it doesn’t define him. I refuse to let others’ judgments shape his self-worth.
So what if people disagree with my choices? They aren’t living my life, and they don’t know my journey.
Next time you feel overwhelmed, try saying “so what?” and let yourself drift with the current for a while. Imagine floating on a relaxing raft, cocktail in hand, and humming along like that little blue fish: “just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.” As mothers, we don’t always have to fight against the tide; it can be exhausting. So from one blue fish to another, remember, “When life gets you down, do you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!”
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Summary
Parenting a child on the autism spectrum presents unique challenges, but embracing the chaos and redefining what “normal” means can lead to a more fulfilling family life. By focusing on the positives and learning to let go of societal expectations, parents can navigate the ebb and flow of their journey with resilience and humor.