A recent post from Humans of New York (HONY) sheds light on why it’s crucial for children to learn about consent. HONY captures the essence of life in New York City, often sharing stories that resonate deeply, and one poignant account highlights a young woman’s troubling early sexual experience.
The Story of Mia
The story starts with a recollection from a young woman named Mia, who describes her summer between eighth and ninth grade. She recalls being “make-out buddies” with a boy who sometimes engaged with her and other times ignored her. One night, while drinking in his basement, he pressured her to have sex. “My heart raced, and I felt terrified,” she wrote. “I kept saying: ‘maybe,’ ‘maybe,’ ‘maybe.’ Then he suggested flipping a coin. My stomach dropped.”
Predictably, the coin toss didn’t turn out in her favor. Afterward, he told her, “I think I heard my dad upstairs. You need to leave.” Upon returning home, Mia wrote in her journal, “It didn’t happen,” repeatedly in a shade of purple sharpie. For years, she felt guilty for her feelings of hurt, believing she was overly sensitive. It took her five long years to understand that consent is not something to gamble with.
The Need for Education
This story resonates with many, as blurred lines, coercion, and discomfort are experiences far too common. Many of us learned about sex and consent through sources like magazines rather than direct conversations. A recent study by Fusion revealed that 75% of 48 men surveyed, aged 18-49, had never heard the term “consent” before college nor had anyone ever explained what it means. The absence of a “no” does not equate to a “yes,” and this misconception needs to be addressed.
Creating Healthy Experiences
While no parent enjoys thinking about their children’s sexual experiences, it’s essential that when the time comes, those experiences are healthy, safe, and consensual. Both partners must understand their rights to affirmative agreement, which necessitates an explicit “yes” from each party.
Changing the Narrative
Countless individuals carry similar stories to Mia’s, but we have the power to change the narrative for the next generation. It’s our responsibility to instill in both girls and boys the understanding that true consent is unequivocal—it’s either an enthusiastic “yes” or nothing at all.
Additional Resources
For more insights on parenting and child development, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. There are also helpful strategies on using positive reinforcement to enhance your toddler’s behavior. And if you’re exploring the journey of starting a family, consider reading about couples’ fertility journeys for intracervical insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, understanding consent is a vital lesson that every child should learn, and it’s imperative that we, as caregivers and educators, prioritize this conversation to foster a healthier future.