What Is a Babysitter? A Message for Moms Who Rarely Get a Break

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I have a confession: as a mother of nearly a decade, I’ve never once employed a babysitter. Yes, you read that right—I’ve never paid anyone to care for my children. Now, I’m not sharing this to claim some sort of superiority. I have family nearby who can occasionally step in, and I’ve always managed to juggle my work-from-home job around my family’s needs. For me, hiring a babysitter seemed unnecessary, and I recognize that’s a privilege many don’t have.

The thought of spending money on a sitter, especially when they can charge around $15 an hour, never felt justified. With any extra funds, we prioritized swim lessons for the kids or fun outings. When it came to treating myself, I’d often settle for practical purchases like new yoga pants or underwear.

However, I’ve come to realize that I wish I had sought a babysitter at least once or twice. It was unwise of me to neglect my own needs for so long and assume that I didn’t deserve to invest time or money in myself. I convinced myself that sacrificing my own well-being was the best approach, that my role as a mother required me to save every penny for my children’s needs.

This line of thinking was misguided. I now understand that my own needs are just as important as those of my kids. There were countless days when I felt like I was at my breaking point—when the monotony of parenting became unbearable, and I longed for a moment of solitude. I remember feeling like a robot, endlessly repeating the same tasks, listening to the same complaints from my children, and struggling to maintain my sanity.

In hindsight, I recognize that my peace of mind was worth every penny I might have spent on a babysitter. Why didn’t I see that sooner? Sure, there were times when money was tight, and I know many mothers face the same challenges. Finding trustworthy childcare is no small feat either. But what if we made self-care a priority? Maybe we skip the extra toys for the kids or cut back on a few nonessential expenses.

Your babysitter doesn’t have to be a professional. A responsible teenager from down the street or even a mother’s helper can be a fantastic option. If you’re anxious about leaving your kids, you could even have the sitter play with them in another room while you enjoy some much-needed quiet time. Imagine locking yourself in your bedroom for a few hours to play Candy Crush or simply unwind.

This small investment could save you from the overwhelming feeling of isolation that often comes with motherhood. Perhaps we wouldn’t feel the need to indulge in so much wine or chocolate if we diverted some funds toward childcare. Sometimes, the math really does add up.

In all seriousness, whether you hire a babysitter, drop the kids off at their grandparents’ house, pass them to your partner for a few hours, or even use technology to entertain them, you deserve that time. There is nothing selfish about prioritizing self-care. Mothers who never take breaks risk burning out, and I know this from experience.

We strive to be the best parents we can, showing unconditional love and creating lasting memories for our kids. But we can’t fulfill that role if we’re exhausted and overwhelmed without any breaks. So, I encourage you to seek help, whether that means hiring someone or finding other ways to carve out personal time. You are worth it, mama.

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Summary:

In this article, the author reflects on her experience as a mother who has never hired a babysitter and the regrets that come with sacrificing her own needs for her children’s. She emphasizes the importance of self-care for mothers, suggesting that investing in childcare—even in small ways—can significantly improve mental well-being. The piece encourages mothers to seek help and prioritize their own needs to avoid burnout.