I adore my children, but like many parents, I often find myself venting about the challenges of parenting. It feels healthy to express these frustrations; it helps keep my sanity in check. I often share my thoughts with friends and family, saying things like, “I just want to enjoy a meal without interruptions!” or “Can I please have a moment to myself?” The usual response is something along the lines of, “Oh, I totally understand. You’re not the only one. This phase will pass.” Occasionally, someone might suggest, “Just let them play! Teach them to entertain themselves!” While I know this advice is well-intentioned, my immediate reaction is, “You just don’t understand!”
Perhaps there’s something wrong with me, or maybe it’s my kids. Who knows? But my children hardly ever engage in independent play unless you count the hours they spend glued to their tablets. Sure, they play frequently, but I can’t simply leave them to it without worrying about the state of the house or potential accidents.
I have two boys, a 3-year-old and a 9-year-old. My youngest can occasionally occupy himself—if he’s in the right mood, he might spend 20 to 30 minutes playing superheroes. Yet, if he’s cranky or if his older brother is around to distract him, that time vanishes. I’d say I get about an hour of solo playtime from him each week. That’s just enough time to unload the dishwasher. But if I try to take a moment for myself—like calling a friend or hopping in the shower—he quickly demands my attention. Interestingly, if I stay close to him, doing dishes, I can sometimes sneak in a few moments of peace.
As for my older son, he is not one to play alone. He’s a bright kid with a lively imagination who craves constant engagement. He’ll dive into a book or a video game, but if those aren’t available, he’s likely to complain or seek my company—nonstop chatter ensues. Both of my boys are quite talkative; it’s almost never quiet in our home. When they’re both out, the silence is almost overwhelming. I find myself relishing those rare moments of solitude.
When it comes to playing together, it’s a mixed bag. They love each other and often engage in play, but it requires a lot of supervision. Their fun typically alternates with bickering—five minutes of enjoyment, followed by five minutes of fighting. I do my best to let them navigate their disagreements and figure out how to entertain themselves, but that doesn’t free me up to get things done.
Maybe my kids need more attention than others, or maybe I’m just too cautious to let them sort out their conflicts. But I suspect they are just typical kids, and most children in their early years demand significant parental involvement. I genuinely believe my boys are bright and lively, and they will grow into wonderful individuals. Yet, as much as they can drive me up the wall now, I know that one day I’ll miss this chaos.
If I’m honest, I do wish my kids would give me a bit more space to breathe. It would be nice to tackle household tasks without a couple of energetic little ones constantly vying for my attention. Ultimately, this challenging phase will pass, and I hope it will all be worth it in the end. But right now, can’t a mom get a moment of peace?
For anyone navigating similar struggles, you might find valuable insights in this resource from the CDC on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re interested in exploring home insemination options, check out our post on the BabyMaker home intracervical insemination syringe kit. Additionally, for those considering adoption, this site provides excellent information on the topic.
In summary, parenting can be an overwhelming experience, especially when kids seem unable to entertain themselves. Balancing their needs with the desire for quiet moments is a common struggle, but it’s important to remember that these phases are temporary.