Parenting
By Alex Thompson
There are numerous pastimes I used to enjoy before becoming a parent that are now practically unfeasible with my three little ones in tow. Remember the days when you had the luxury of silence, ample time, and a hint of patience? Those days seem like a distant memory now, with our little rascals running amok and turning every peaceful moment into chaos. Here’s a rundown of 10 activities that are ill-advised once you embark on the parenting journey. Trust me; I’ve been there.
1. Setting Your Drink Down Anywhere
Leaving a beverage unattended, even for a moment, is a recipe for disaster. Whether it’s a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, it will inevitably be knocked over or contaminated by tiny hands or toys. This is particularly tragic if it’s the last of your favorite drink.
2. Using Hair Removal Cream
If you’re aiming for a neat bikini line, think twice. The moment you find a spare minute to pamper yourself, chaos will likely erupt. As you apply the cream, prepare for a child to break something or injure themselves, forcing you to abandon your beauty routine in a panic. And trust me, that stuff has a tendency to drip!
3. Making a Phone Call
I once thought I’d brave a phone call to schedule my kids’ annual checkups while they were distracted by a movie. Little did I know, I’d spend an eternity on hold, only to find my kids swinging from the chandelier by the time I reached a representative. “Is this a good time?” they asked. I could only reply, “When would it be?!”
4. Sending a Frustrated Text
With the added chaos of kids around, sending a text while your nerves are already frayed can lead to comedic disasters. Just the other day, I intended to text my partner, “I’m so upset with you right now,” but it autocorrected to, “I’m so bad for you right now.” Not quite the same message!
5. Overcommitting Yourself
We often think we can juggle it all as parents. However, some days, all I can manage is sipping coffee and hoping to regain my energy. It’s perfectly acceptable to decline extra responsibilities. I’ve learned that saying “no” is a vital skill.
6. Experimenting with Makeup Trends
Trying out the latest makeup look can seem fun, but with kids around? Forget it. I attempted a new eyebrow technique once, and halfway through, I received an urgent call to address my child’s unexpected hives. Rushing out of the house, I ended up with one perfect brow and one that looked like a disaster.
7. Enjoying a Solo Bath
The dream of a peaceful bath is fleeting. The moment you fill the tub, your kids will come charging in, armed with bath toys and demanding your attention. You might as well just accept that a quiet soak is out of the question.
8. Listening to Your Favorite Music
Cranking up your favorite tunes can quickly turn into a history lesson for your kids. I was vibing to some classic Dave Matthews when I was met with a barrage of questions about why I listened to “old people music.” Instead of enjoying the music, I found myself shushing them repeatedly.
9. Snoozing While They’re Awake
Many parents have tried to catch some Zzz’s while their kids play quietly. Spoiler alert: it never works. You may drift off briefly, but you’ll always snap back to reality when your little ones call your name for the hundredth time.
10. Sneaking Treats
We’ve all experienced the thrill of sneaking a snack, only to have the crinkle of the wrapper betray us. As soon as they hear it, your kids will come rushing in, and your secret candy stash will be no more.
While these moments can be challenging, I remind myself that before I know it, my kids will be grown, and I’ll have the freedom to indulge in these activities without interruption. Until then, I’ll keep my treats hidden away and my bathroom door locked for a moment of peace.
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Summary: Parenting brings about a myriad of challenges that make once-simple activities nearly impossible. From making phone calls to sneaking snacks, the joys of parenting come with their own unique hurdles, reminding us that while these moments are tough, they are fleeting.