Firstborns are blissfully unaware of how fortunate they truly are. They enjoy the attention of fresh, energetic parents who are navigating the overwhelming yet beautiful journey of parenthood for the first time. First-time parents will go to great lengths to ensure that their first child experiences a life filled with joy, education, and minimal exposure to germs.
However, when the second child arrives (and let’s not even get started on those who are third or more in line), things start to shift. It’s not that we love our subsequent children any less; it’s just that we’ve become more seasoned and, let’s face it, a bit more exhausted. Our finances may also take a hit, because kids are undeniably expensive. Here are some of the things that our dear secondborns often miss out on:
- Extravagant Birthday Celebrations
My first child’s first birthday was a grand affair, complete with a backyard party where friends and family showered him with gifts. There were colorful decorations, balloons, and a gorgeous cake—including a small “smash cake” just for him. But did he appreciate it? Not really; he was just a baby. Fast forward a few years, and when it was time to celebrate his little brother’s first birthday, it was a more subdued affair in our kitchen with just a cupcake and one gift. Surprisingly, he seemed perfectly content. - Enrichment Activities
From mommy-and-me yoga classes to toddler music sessions, my firstborn had it all. I was convinced he was a prodigy who needed nurturing, so I invested my time and money into these activities. My second child, on the other hand, was lucky to tag along to story time at the library once in a while. - Comprehensive Baby Books
You can easily identify a firstborn’s baby book—it’s overflowing with notes, photos, and keepsakes. Every detail is meticulously documented, from the exact time of birth to detailed notes about their eating habits. In contrast, my second child’s baby book has his name, date of birth, and maybe a few details—certainly not the detailed memoir that his older sibling will cherish. - Fancy Baby Gear
First-time parents tend to go overboard, stocking up on everything imaginable for the nursery. By the time the second child arrives, we realize that less is often more and opt for a more minimalist approach, having learned that many of those gadgets aren’t necessary. - Brand-New Items
This is especially true if the second child is the same gender as the first. The first baby typically enjoys the luxury of baby showers filled with new gifts, while the second child often receives hand-me-downs. If my second son wore anything new, it was likely because his older brother had outgrown it without ever using it. - Photographic Evidence
As a first-time mom, I was an absolute paparazzi. There are countless photos documenting every milestone and ordinary moment of my firstborn’s life. Professional photo sessions? Absolutely! But for my second child, I have a few snapshots from holidays and birthdays—no professional portraits, just the occasional candid shot. - Fun Outings
Taking one child to the zoo or a carnival is manageable and often leads to a day filled with souvenirs. However, adding a second child doubles the admission costs, which means they often leave with nothing more than a pressed penny or a cheap trinket. - Overprotectiveness
I was a rather intense first-time mom, obsessively sterilizing everything and monitoring every bit of media my child consumed. By the time my second child came along, my standards had relaxed considerably; let’s just say that “sterilizing” could mean giving a pacifier a quick blow and wiping it on my shirt.
I owe an apology to all second-born children on behalf of weary parents everywhere. It’s not your fault; it’s just a side effect of being a seasoned parent. But at least we didn’t wrap you in bubble wrap for every outing!
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In summary, second-born children often miss out on the lavish attention, resources, and experiences that their older siblings received. The journey of parenthood evolves with each child, and while second children may not get the same spotlight, they often benefit from a more relaxed and experienced approach.